“It says repeat, but YOU DON’T HAVE TO.”

Remember when all I could talk about was how much I needed that soap? Well, I got it. A distributor found me through a Google search, and shipped me a bar from Taiwan. Are you looking for Arsoa as well? You can email Lawrence and he’ll send it to you. Please tell him I sent you, and don’t scoff when it costs thirty bucks. That’s just what it costs. You want to be pretty? Pay the price!

I was very excited when my bar of Queen Silver Soap arrived this weekend. I opened the package and read my letter from Taiwan. Lawrence had been nice enough to translate the directions for me:

As you probably know, the Queen Silver Soap works different from conventional soap. to obtain most effective result, Arsoa recommends you use the following 7 steps instructed in the catalog:

1. Moisturize your face with a palm full of warm water splash 4-5 times.

2. Rotate the soap 7-8 times inside your palm to create as much bubbles as you can. This will activate the minerals from the concentrated ingredients.

3. Rub around the bubbles from Step 2 continuously until you see a hand full of “foam” the size of a ping pong ball. (During this process you should add a few drops of water to the existing bubbles to help create the foam)

4. Now use the foam to gently rub around all area of your face for about 30 seconds, including your eye and lip area.

5. Thoroughly clean out the foam with warm water, especially area by your hair, nose, ear and underneath the chin.

6. This first procedure will remove all dirt on the surface of the skin, you can repeat the whole procedure from 2-5 for better result.

7. Finally wash your face with cold water to contract your skin, and use a towel to dry out remaining water spot.

Oh, if I only had a scanner so I could show you the accompanying photographs. Maybe I’m just not smart enough, but can anybody tell a difference between the directions for Arsoa soap and the directions for… soap?

And you know, I have to talk about soap, because otherwise I have to think about the war that might begin this week, and I’d rather think about soap. Like when Martha Stewart just wanted to concentrate on her salad. That’s what I’d like to do right now.

Currently reading

Sarah.

Gave up on

A: A Novel. I love Warhol probably more than the next guy, but reading a transcription of some druggie’s day felt like recapping.

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