From: pamie <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Sat, 27 Jul 2002 01:37:27 -0700
i am drunk and emailing, which is never good. i will now type without going back and editing, which i’ve been doing up until now, which is slowing me down, considerably.
i watched crossroads tonight and drank a lot. i love that movie so much. t’s so horribly bad and hysterical and funny and good and britney’s not wearing much clothes in the first twenty mintues of the movie. and there’s a dirty rape baby in the movie (i have to ask my friend what comic calls it that, becaause i just stole that joke), but not for the whole movie. you have to see it for the line “sorry that took so long; i got a band.”
i want to drunk dial yuou but it is way tomorroow over there.
all running if’ve done in the past two months was negated wth tonight’s dorito consumption. i feel so sick from eating chips. oh, man. like i’m an inflated baloon stuck under water.
crossroads is the best movie ever and i’m buying the dvd tomorrow. i’m also watching it again tomorrow so i can see it with britney’s commentary, which i’ve been waiting for since the movie came out. i might wait unti i c an see it with my friend djb, because he’d cry if he knew i watched it wihtout him. i’m so drunk.
three csomopolitans and a shiner. hat’s whrong with me? i had chiecken nuggets, tater tossts, dorityos and m@ms. i’m seven.
run this emial through a voice gneratator. t ht’as some funny shit. i’m like the endo fa stephen king novel, right here. right when i’m about to eat my foot and sing the macdonaltd’s song. you konw that short story/ i’m funny as shit.
Dear Mom. I know that only two hours ago I was telling you that I don’t drink that often. I just want to point out that comparatively, I don’t drink that often. I just don’t usually point out that most of my friends are total lushes. I’m sure in ten years we won’t be such drunkards. For now, there’s nothing better on a Saturday night than a cheap Britney Spears movie (You know how you like Bruce Willis movies even when they’re bad? It’s like that.) while my friend Jessica plays “bartender.” And one day if you ever decide to watch the movie, make sure you call my friend up so she can re-enact the “Sorry that took so long; I got a band” moment. Otherwise it’s not as funny. No, that’s not true. It’s still just as funny. It’s the funniest thing that’s not supposed to be funny. Also, please don’t think I cuss too often. And, I love you very much. You’re the best Mom ever. You know, most people don’t have to worry about their moms reading their diaries. Not me. I’ve got a mom who reads, and her friends read (Hi, Cathy!) and my relatives read (Hey, Cool Chris), so you know, every once in a while I’m going to write about having a few drinks on a Saturday night. I don’t have to justify my life to you, Mom. Get off my case! What’s with the third degree, anyway? I can hear you tsking all the way over here in the Pacific Time Zone. The tsk goes back two hours and into my ears. Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll never drink again. I’m sorry, Mommy.