On Leading

the comedy line leader

I missed my first comedy class while I was in Austin. I mean, it’s the first time I’ve missed since I started taking them. And I started feeling ill once I got back to LA and I had this show but I missed the last class, so I decided last night to watch the show instead of performing.

I like to do that every once in a while anyway, to get a good feel for the group’s energy and what we look like to the audience. I find it to be a good learning experience. You always think you’re funnier on stage than you actually are.

But the strange thing is I’ve been chosen some sort of leader for this class, and according to the teacher they were all saying last week that if I was there they could answer some of her questions. I don’t know how I got into this situation. This happens to me quite a bit, though. They were like, “You’re the most organized!”

This is because I had a party and invited everyone. This is because I copy down the show order and post it backstage before we perform. This is all they know about me. Somehow this makes me the leader.

I’m worried that this makes my new teacher instantly hate me, thinking I’m some sort of class pet. This has happened before. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not PAM!” I hate it, and I’m not even doing anything to do it. The funny thing is, in this class I made a conscious effort to not stand out or offer help or be a leader or make suggestions or do anything but be a participant. Somehow it happened anyway.

When a board game is played, I’m always the banker. I always teach everyone the game. I’m always the one passing out the pieces. When a show is made, I make the contact sheets. I make the phone calls. I organize the cast party. I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know why I volunteer. I do it when I don’t even have the time. I do it when I don’t want to. Why?

I really don’t know. I don’t understand that about myself. Something about getting it done right the first time, I guess, or not having any excuses, or just knowing that it’ll be done. Maybe that’s it. I always want to help, even when I don’t want to help. Like, my friend has a show next week, and I kind of want to be in it, if only to help him out in this show. What’s up with that?

Anyway, I’m now the class representative for my group, which I think is just as dorky as it sounds. I’m gonna make myself an orange sash with a badge. And be on gum patrol.

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