She Has Some Thoughts (by Michelle)
I’ll have an entry up later today. For now, here’s Michelle’s guest entry from Friday
I have a headache. I’m still fighting off the tail end of a bout with bronchitis. My job is killing me. My pets are too needy. I never ever hit green lights. I ran out of orange juice this morning. My shoes hurt. I have dry skin. I fell down the elevator shaft and broke both of my legs. I’m being sued by Clive Davis. I drink too much. Kevin Spacey stopped answering my phone calls. I just found out my sheepskin rug was imitation sheepskin. And to top it off, I just dropped all of my change into the nether regions of my couch. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
That’s right, kids. I’m going to squishycon. Where the squishites will run free on the streets of Las Vegas. Where people will talk in depth about the lives of pamie, eric, ray, taylor, cal, and the list goes on. Where the topics of discussion will range from what pamie had for breakfast to what pamie is wearing to what pamie is going to do to create world peace.
I don’t know about this. Will I fit in? Will they like me? Are they still holding a grudge over the advice I gave them in my forum? Will they think I’m not good enough for their pamie? Will they eschew and pshaw me? Will they make fun of my clothes? Will they let me play any of their squishy games? Or are they just going to call me squishy names?
Stop. It. You’re thinking way too much into this. Squishycon is just a meeting of friends. Well, a meeting of friends who have never really met. Actually, most of the people there aren’t your friends at all. You’ve never even met them. How can they be your friends? You have given them advice. So, basically, these are people you don’t know with documented emotional baggage. Maybe I should have advised them to stay home. You’re having a hard time sewing your curtains? Well, you better stay inside for the next month. God, I am so stupid. I have created my own social nightmare. Now, I’m having a hard time sewing my curtains.
Okay, I’m good now. I’ve worked through the hype and my preconceptions. Don’t believe the hype. And fight the power. And wear a big watch around your neck and act crazy. Huh? Well, anyhoo, I’ll be in Vegas Friday afternoon. I’ll be at karaoke Friday night. I’ll be at the nickel slots most of Saturday. I’m babysitting the tigers Saturday night so Siegfried and Roy can go to the spa. And I’ll be back on the road Sunday afternoon. I’ll try and fit in some panel discussions and photo sessions. Just, please, don’t touch the threads.
(if you want to feel more of michelle’s love, go check out her corner of squishy at her forum topic “michelle said, michellesmom said.” It’s two, two, two generations of michelle. )
“YM Girlz Rule!”
Say Anything Hall of Shame
“Everyone in my science class had to give an oral presentation about the sea creature of our choice. I selected the octopus. As I was practicing my presentation with friends the night before, they kept making dirty jokes about one of my lines: ‘The octopus grabs its prey with its tentacles.’ On the day of the speech, I was so nervous that when I came to that line, sure enough, I blurted out: ‘The octopus grabs its prey with its testicles.’ The entire class was laughing. Even my teacher couldn’t stop herself from cracking up!”
Well. Quit school. And “I selected the octopus” is the name of my thirty-first album.