Hello, December

i know nothing and then just go back to work

Wow. I couldn’t have been more wrong on yesterday’s predictions. Actually, I guess I didn’t really do any predictions, but rather discussed who should have been nominated, but check this list out:

You Want Fries With That Album?
Faith Hill for her Pepsi ads

2 for 2

Legend in Action

Gods of Thunder

Givin’ It Back
Limp Bizkit

Coolest Fan Web Site

Best U.K. Act
Robbie Williams

Best-Kept Secret
The Corrs

Welcome to the Big Time!

Pushing the Envelope Video
Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Californication”

Sexxxiest Video
Faith Hill – “Breathe”

Woman of the Year
Faith Hill

Man of the Year
Carlos Santana

Best Stage Spectacle
Metallica with the San Francisco Symphony

Double Threat (Musician/Actors)
Will Smith

Video of the Year
Bon Jovi – “It’s My Life”

Most Entertaining Public Feud
Eminem vs. Everyone

Best Live Act
Dave Matthews Band

Group of the Year

Song of the Year
Creed – “Higher”

Your Song Kicked Ass but Was Played Too Damn Much
Santana – “Smooth”

Booty Shake
Ricky Martin

Must-Have Album
Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication

What did I get, like three right? Sad.

I don’t think this means I’m out of touch. I think this means I wasn’t working for VH-1 when they hired people to rig the online poll. I mean, come on. There’s a reason they made a Creed Behind the Music. I’m just sayin’. And Dave Matthews? VH-1 is the only one holding onto that dream.

There are three magazines that came in the mail today. I end up reading Bust for an hour and then I’m all, “Dammit!”

I have a recap to do. I have other things to do. It’s Friday. I’m supposed to go out tonight and have fun. But instead I spent most of the morning, and most of yesterday fixing forum issues. I know some of you just read these entries and don’t go anywhere near the forum. Just in case you don’t bother, just know that it went a little crazy yesterday. I think things are starting to die down.

For those of you who are participating in the book club, we started discussing Invisible Circus.

And in the Webhead section, I get some slaps on the wrist and have a new article on the death of my handspring.

Yeah, I suck today. But I’ve got to get this other stuff finished up. Plus the Christmas cards. And, if you haven’t done it yet, the secret santa thing ends on Monday. Closes. No more adding your wishlist. Make sure you sign up.

I was struggling with an entry and my column, so I wrote to Omar, who loves it when I write about Lenny Kravitz. He responded:


Yeah, Lenny, we need your help. There’s this girl, she’s trying to write a column. She needs some inspiration.


She runs a Web site. Has a column.

Oh, it’s for a fan Web site?

No, not really. There are no fan Web sites.

Bullshit, man. I just looked on Google. Hey. That’s a cool word.

No, Lenny, the label paid people to put those sites up. There are no real fan sites.

I… shit.

So can you do it?

Yeah, seeing I don’t have any fan mail to answer or chat rooms to hang out in now. This isn’t for some bullshit awards show, is it?

Oh, I was gonna talk to you about that.

What’s the damn address?


(ten minutes later)

Tell her to write about this Christmas card exchange. About how she started this online card exchange thing and now it’s out of control and her hand’s gonna hurt so bad from writing them out she’s not gonna be able to play “Fly Away.”

She doesn’t play guitar.

Or type or masturbate, I don’t care! Man, this is coming out of your ten percent.

Gotta go. Hey, you’re up for a Hispanic Alma Award this year.

But I’m not hispan–… fuck.


And this concludes Lenny Kravitz week here at Squishy. He was on VH-1. He was on David Blaine. He was in two entries. He was playing at the club I was in last night. It’s been all Lenny, all the time.

“Was that really an entry? Weird. Because to me it felt like SUCK.”

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