I’m just angry today. Angry. Not even in an “I’m angry about this” sort of way. I’m just angry. Angry. Mean. Crabby.
Behold, the power of bitch.
I’m serious. I just woke up in a foul mood. No one started this or caused it, but here it is and it’s flaming mad, yo.
Hey alarm clock: shut up. Just shut. up. for three damn minutes and let me have one good dream before i have to get up and start working for fifteen hours straight again, okay? Do you think you could do that for me? No? Well, screw you then.
Hey webpage: stop making me fill in all of your little tags and choose colors and shit. Here. Have a nice grey background, okay? How’s that for design, huh? Here, I got another one for your whiny HTML ass: eat me.
Hey girlie side of me: you might want to close your eyes for a few minutes. This could get ugly.
Hey Austin: when it’s raining, it doesn’t mean the world is coming to an end. You can still drive in this stuff. It’s just WATER! It doesn’t have the power to burn your sweet, precious, orange-tanned skin, okay? Drive. Drive. Merge. Fucking merge. And if you aren’t turning left anytime TODAY could you please turn that off? And when it’s foggy you don’t need your damn high-beams, okay? Okay?
Hey No Doubt: thanks for giving me that ex-girlfriend song and then not releasing your album for another month so I have to listen to the radio all the time so I can sing along. I really appreciate it. I didn’t know that Celine Dion was into the club scene, but now I have her horrid warble trapping me inside my car once a day. I blame you.
Hey guy at sxsw that said he really liked the panel with “the chicks” even though there was a boy on that panel: thanks for giving me a good technopolis entry this week. I mean it. I had almost run out of things to talk about.
Hey Japanese Language: man, you’re relentless. Why do I only get the anime scripts with all of the yelling? Why so much yelling?
Hey life: I swear I’ll pick you back up in a couple of weeks. I’m so sorry about this, but I’m just a bit busy, okay?
Hey Beatles: Why does Michelle get to be all pretty and French and shit but I get to be “Polythene Pam, she’s so good-looking but she looks like a man”? Why can’t I be Michelle?
Hey day: (mayday!) where did you go? Is it that late already? Damn.
Hey food: I swear I’ll get around to you sometime too. Maybe.
Hey Cal: get down from there. get off of that. stop biting me. stop kicking me. don’t do that. ouch. stop. i mean it. that’s not a toy. don’t eat the cigarette. don’t! don’t! taylor doesn’t want to play. stop eating his fur. go clean your butt. stop it. ow.
Hey skin: what’s up with you? I just get done bragging and you’re all, “Thanks. Now I’m just going to freak out and have random bruises and scratches and one nice red scab on your cheek that you don’t know how it got there. Oh, and a think a bug bite….right….there. Next to your nose. Red and swollen so it looks like you were in a brawl last night. Don’t be late for your meeting.”
Hey Me: Do you think we could be more annoying, banal or predictable? Are you really going to do an entry that’s just a rip-off of the “letters” thing that you’ve already overdone and then you only talk about your cats and the weather and shit? Oh, and I bet you’re gonna post that Johnny Depp poem from the other day, too. You’re pathetic. Really. And I bet you’ll do it with all sorts of spelling and grammar mistakes because your ass never takes the time to spell check and you’ll do another infuriating thing like spelling “its” as “it’s.” I hate when you do that and you do it all the damn time.
Hey chocolate chip cookies with nuts: dump the nuts. They are only holding you back. You’re much better without them.
Ohh. Cookies. Suddenly I’m not so angry anymore. Oh, and Beth just sent me a funny e-mail. And stee. And he said nice things about me. And Trejo just made me laugh. Okay. Never mind not so angry now. Okay. I’m okay. It’s okay.
What is up with this hangnail on my thumb? Dammit!
Hey thumb: heal. dammit.
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