“I have sixty-two cats.”

if you ever hear me say that, please talk to me.

I went home sick yesterday and promptly slept all afternoon. I guess that explains part of my crankiness.

The down side? Not much happened yesterday. I was pretty much sleeping the whole time.

Took Leaky Cat to the vet. They gave us pills and eye drops. We bought a pill popper and were worried that it was going to cause a world of screaming, squirming and choking. I put Cal in my lap and Eric shoved that popper in his mouth and pushed the plunger…

And it was real quiet. The cat just looked at us, we looked at the cat. Blink. Blink.

I guess it really does trigger some sort of reflex because the cat never knew that he just swallowed a pill. The eye drops, on the other hand, are a different beast. I was holding Cal and propping open the bottom of his eye while Eric pried open the top of the eye and tried to put in a drop but the cat wiggled and Eric tensed and ended up shooting a stream of eye medicine right on poor Cal’s iris. He got a few more than two drops on that dose.

Oh, God, I’m becoming a crazy cat lady. Right before your very eyes, I’m becoming a crazy cat lady. Help me.

Then we went and had dinner at Katz’s, because the pun was irresistible. That’s how crazy of a cat lady I’m becoming.

I was thinking about volunteering at the local animal shelter, but I know what’ll happen if I do. I’ll be trying to interview people and I’d be like:

[scripty]
PAMIE
And what makes you think you’d be good for Mr. Furface?

ADOPTER
Well, we really want a cat and…

PAMIE
You got lots of toys for him?

ADOPTER
Well, not yet.

PAMIE
Why not?

ADOPTER
We don’t have the cat yet.

PAMIE
Nice excuse. I suppose you’ll make the cat make his own toys with toilet paper and dirty socks.

ADOPTER
We weren’t planning on doing that…

PAMIE
You plan on feeding this cat?

ADOPTER
Of course.

PAMIE
You gonna give the cat chocolate?

ADOPTER
Well, we probably wouldn’t give the cat very many snacks or table food.

PAMIE
You wouldn’t let the cat have some fish if you were eating fish? Or tuna? You’d just let him beg?

ADOPTER
Well, I guess if we were eating seafood, we’d probably let him have a bite or two.

PAMIE
But not chocolate?

ADOPTER
Sure. I guess chocolate wouldn’t hurt every once in a while.

PAMIE
Oh! Wouldn’t hurt? Chocolate is POISON to a cat, don’t you know anything?

ADOPTER
It is?

PAMIE
Yes, it is, you murderer. Forget it. Come on, Mr. Furface, I’m taking you home.

MR. FURFACE
Murrr.
[/scripty]

Really, it’s better for all of us if I just leave the shelter alone.

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