comedy gold, baby
So, all of Squishy was shut down yesterday. So was my e-mail. If you tried to reach me to tell me you couldn’t read my page, I didn’t get the message until this morning when everything was working well again. Sorry.
If it’s any consolation, my torture yesterday was listening to “Genie In A Bottle” thirteen times for a sketch I’ve been working on.
“Was that the funniest thing I ever said?”
That was Eric last night as we were going to bed. We were talking about the time we were getting on an airplane and we had been waiting in this very long line. For some reason they were seating the back of the plane last and we were in the back row, so we had been standing in line with all of these people for quite some time. We finally made it into the plane, and we were stopped at the top of the aisle by a couple in the front row who were putting their luggage in the overhead bins. They had like three bags each and some suitcases. The bags were all souvenir bags filled with toys and stuffed animals. One of the bags seemed to be full of dishes. They kept trying to shove things in the bins, find they wouldn’t fit, and then pull them out and try to shove them somewhere else.
Eric craned his head up to get a look at the couple and said, “Well, I don’t…. Oh. OH!” He turned back around and faced the line behind us. “It’s okay. I didn’t know. It’s the ‘World’s Greatest Dad.’ So if everyone could just calm down a little and let the man do his work. I had no idea. I’m sorry I was so impatient.”
The man in the “World’s Greatest Dad” T-shirt sat down and let us go through. I still giggle about that.
“Was the funniest thing I ever said on that same trip?”
“No, I think that was a different one.”
“Was it the funniest thing I ever said?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. You say some funny things.”
“Yeah. Remember how I kept doing my Bobby Hill on that trip?”
“Of course I do.”
“Dad? Can I say ‘pussywillow?’ What about ‘country?’”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
I can’t remember if I told this story before. We were on a plane and Eric had been talking.
All I want is some peanuts. I wish they’d just bring them out instead of teasing me. I’ve been waiting here and I’m almost done with my Diet Coke and I don’t want–
WOMAN’S VOICE FROM A FEW AISLES UP
INSIDE ERIC’S HEAD
Did she just shush me? Why would she shush me? I wasn’t talking all that loud. It’s not like everyone’s sleeping. I was just talking to Pam. No, I’m sure that woman wasn’t shushing me. And what if she was? What is she, my mother? I’m not going to just sit here and let some woman shush me. I’m being silly. I’m sure that she wasn’t shushing me at all. She was probably talking to someone else. I’m being paranoid. Forget it. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah–
SHH! SHHHAaaaa. Haa! Hee!
Were you waiting that entire time just to shush me?
Yeah. I could see you trying to figure out if she shushed you or not.
Why have I been crying every Wednesday and Monday night? I’ve been writing about it on the brand spankin’ new site Mighty Big TV. It rules. Have fun.