so i’m typing really slowly

Ow.  Ow.  Ow.

I am covered in sunburn.  That’s what happens when you try and fit a whole summer in a weekend.  It was a great weekend.  I had a lot of fun.  But today I’m covered in Aloe, and keep a bottle of aloe/lidocane next to my arm because my shoulders and chest keep screaming whenever I lean over to pick something up.

Memorial Day Weekend Re-Cap 1999

 

Friday

I had a rather productive morning of working on my computer, Tae-Boing (oh, the horrors of the advanced…), showering nd updating all before lunch.  After updating (which took forever because I had to re-install Netscape and my internet provider on my home computer) we went out for barbecue at the Salt Lick.  A nice drive followed by all-you-can-eat during a thunderstorm.  I learned that I cannot eat enough to merit an all-you-can-eat, and should probably just stick to a lower priced “plate” the next time I go.

Afterwards we all sat on my balcony and had a few beers.  It was a nice, lazy afternoon.

That night I performed in Least Funny Show I’ve Done in a While, followed by Even Worse Show that We Can’t Even Blame on the Audience Like We Did With the First One.

After the shows Eric and I were pretty exhausted, and called it an early evening.  I don’t even remember falling asleep.  It was just suddenly the next day.  We’re big wusses.

Saturday

Eric had a defensive driving class to take all day, so I had the morning and early afternoon to myself.  I went to my callback audition (and read for Skinhead Girl again).  I find out this afternoon if I got the part.  It was sort of strange being the oldest actor there.  That doesn’t usually happen.  I felt like perhaps I was too old for the part, considering some of the people that were already cast…  They asked again:  “And what’s your position on your hair?”

“Uh… you know… I would like to not cut it, or we could cut it a little, but I could make it really messy and make it look shorter, or braid it and Manic Panic it or something.”

“But you’re willing to have a dialogue about your hair.”

“A dialogue.”

“At least that’s not a shavalogue,” the stage manager said.

“Thanks.”

I went grocery shopping, and for a second I stopped in the hair aisle, thinking about lightening my hair when I remembered that it could all change in a couple of days anyway, so I should leave my head alone.

Spent the early afternoon working on Eric’s car with him.  I even got a little grease paint on my hands.  I scanned a couple of pictures to post on the website, but then I was having problems with my internet connection again, so I gave up.  I meant to put the pics on a disk to take them to work to upload, since it’s faster, but of course, I’m a big dork and I forgot.  Our friend Chris came up from San Antonio to spend the weekend with us.  We watched a little basketball and then went to do our shows.

A much better performance was had by all, and we had a good time.

Afterwards we went to Chuy’s to play poker.  Now, I rarely play, because I feel like the game is too serious for someone who has no real interest or understanding of the game such as myself.  But it was a small gathering of people on this night, so I played.  Lady Luck had me win the first two hands, and then I spent the next three hours losing.  Eric and Chris were the big winners.

I went home and went to sleep.

Sunday

Eric went and brought lunch for when we had all stumbled out of bed.  We ate, and then Eric and I had to go to rehearsal.  Four hours later the rehearsals were all done, and we took our sweaty bodies to the local bar to watch the rest of the Knicks game.  Matt and I talked about our one-person shows.  Jeff and I talked about how my friend Jessica, who just moved to California, met Perry Farrell.  Becca and I talked about sketches and two-person shows.

Once we got back to the house, we felt pretty lazy, and decided to rent movies for the evening.  We dismissed the thought that deciding to stay in on the Sunday of a three-day weekend makes us terribly old and boring, and rented Antz and Permanent Midnight.

Once back at the house we tried watching Antz.  After about twenty minutes in I was bored.  Really bored.  Eric was on the floor reading a magazine.  I glanced over at Chris.  He gave me the “I don’t care about this movie either,” look, and I popped the tape out.  Ick.

We ended up watching random television and then played Monopoly (Eric won) and Payday (Chris won) until four in the morning.

“What is it you like about this game, Pam?” Eric asked, while we were in the fifth month of Payday.

“I don’t know,” I said.  “I always think I like it until we start playing.  It’s pretty boring.  I like Life better.”

It’s true.  The reason I like Life and Payday is because they are games that don’t require too much strategy or hostility, and are sort of luck-of-the-roll games.  With Monopoly you’ve got to eliminate your opponents, so someone has to mortgage everything they own to pay you and then they are out of the game and have to sit there for another three hours, and with poker everyone is so serious about their own hands that it stays a pretty intense, quiet game.  People get upset if you bet unwisely, or if you bet out of turn or whatever.  I like a game with a light hearted nature, where you can joke about the game and talk to each other while it goes on.

Monday

We got up and went to lunch.  Amazingly enough, we got a table right away.  We debated what we were going to do for the rest of the day.

[scripty]
ERIC
You guys decide, because I’m tired of making all the decisions.

PAMIE
What decisions?

ERIC
Oh, everything.  I always have to decide.

PAMIE
You do not.

ERIC
I’m not deciding.

PAMIE
Chris?

CHRIS
Hey, whatever you guys want to do, that’s fine with me.

PAMIE
I’d like to swim.

ERIC
Okay.

PAMIE
I thought you wanted to go to the lake today.

ERIC
Well, we could just go to the pool.  The lake will be crowded.

PAMIE
We can always go to the pool.  It’s a holiday, we should make it special.

ERIC
It won’t be special if I’m all crowded and grumpy at the beach.

PAMIE
If we go to the pool you only swim for three minutes and then you want to go home.

ERIC
I was thinking about that.

PAMIE
I don’t want to spend all day inside.

ERIC
So what do you want to do?

PAMIE
Let’s go to the lake.

ERIC
Chris?

CHRIS
The lake is fine.

ERIC
Or would you guys rather go to the pool?

CHRIS
Pool.  Whatever.  Lake.  I don’t care.

PAMIE
I don’t want to crash someone else’s cookout at the pool.

ERIC
Okay.  Fine.  Let’s do it.  Let’s go to the lake.
[/scripty]

So we did.  I put sunscreen on and told the others they should do the same.  I was feeling all self-righteous in my SPF and headed out to swim.

But I really am just stupid.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I only put the sunscreen on my face and neck.  I paid special attention to my ears, which always get burned.  I didn’t put a drop anywhere else on my body.

We fought with three eight-year olds over a rock in the water that was a nice place to rest, but they had decided was their kingdom.  After they called us “bastards” we started feeling guilty for taking away their land, and we moved on to other water.  Eric and Chris decided to have a race out to the buoy 150 yards out, but turned around and came back halfway through the race.

For the first time since I was nine, I went swimming without wearing a t-shirt or shorts.  I only wore my suit.  How’s that for confidence, Billy Blanks?

Since I was out of the habit of wearing only a suit, it was pretty obvious once we got back in the car that I had scorched my skin.

[scripty]
PAMIE
How’s your special day coming?

ERIC
If only we could ride go-carts.

PAMIE
Let’s go.

ERIC
Really?

PAMIE
Why not?
[/scripty]

I slept the entire trip to the go-cart place.  I woke at one point, and said I wanted to eat crab legs.  I think I thought I was back in Baltimore.  I sort of heard them discussing whether the go-cart place would be too crowded and they should just head for the crab shack or not, but the next thing I knew we were at the go-cart place.

I beat my personal best time.

We went back and had our crab legs.  My fingers are killing me from opening the sharp, stubby, Alaskan legs of evolution.  You can tell they know that they are killed for their legs.  Those things are sharp, man.

After dinner we went to the store and picked up some beer so that we could just sit on the couch and never move again.

We watched Permanent Midnight.  Pretty good.  During one rather graphic heroin shooting scene I turned to Eric and Chris.  “Well, it’s no Antz.”

“No, it’s not,” they said, while hiding their eyes in their pillows.

Chris left after we watched the Simpsons and Seinfeld, and Eric and I watched the “Red Hot Chili Peppers Behind the Music” until we both were too sleepy to care.

We aloed and went to bed.

Not that we fell right asleep.  The only thing worse than sitting with a sunburn is trying to sleep with a sunburn.  My shoulders are screaming.

Today

My new Boobtoob is up and running.

Hey, guess what?  I won!  Thanks to all of you out there for voting for me.  It really does mean a lot.  I found out through  my forum, which I think is really fitting, don’t you?

Okay, if I type any more I’ll start crying.  Time for more aloe.

I don’t know if I’m going to make it through today, I really don’t.  I wonder if they’ll let me go home if I start crying.