and the madness in my head

So, I’m at home. And I’m not allowed to talk. Whenever I do talk, you can only hear a little whisper coming out of me. I feel like the Godfather. Everyone has to lean in to hear me. I’m tired of it, though. I miss my voice. I miss talking to the cats. I miss singing. I miss laughing.It’s interesting, because for you guys, there’s nothing different. My voice hasn’t changed at all. Here, in my head, though, these words are sounding all raspy and funny, because that’s how I’ve sounded for days. Apparently this is all caused by allergies. I’m on some medicine now that is supposed to stop all this sinus drainage that has made my vocal cords swell. Apparently they are so swollen that they aren’t able to vibrate against each other, thus making it impossible for me to talk. I tell you, it’s maddening. I can’t get into any conversation because they don’t hear me try to talk. The smell of cigarettes is making my throat constrict. Whenever I do try to speak I keep having to repeat myself so someone can understand me. And the worst part of it all?

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