Author: Pamie
-
scene from a bachelorette party
[scripty] ALEX So, um, pamie. How are you holding up? …You know, with the whole Johnny Depp thing. PAMIE What? WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED? ALEX Oh. I thought you would have known. His kid is sick. PAMIE Really? Which one? ALEX I… well, I didn’t know he had more than one. PAMIE HE HAS TWO. ALEX…
-
poor eric.
Suddenly, I found myself violently pitched forward. It took me a second to realize that someone had rear-ended me, which I found disorienting because whenever I imagine myself getting into a car accident, I just assume it will be my fault. So I was pretty unprepared for the scummy guy who emerged from the car…
-
stuck/unstuck
“You know, it’s his other leg this time.” That’s what the vet told me when I brought Taylor in. It’s his other leg that’s injured. And as Taylor hissed and growled in my arms and the vet gave me this look, I felt like the worst pet owner in the world. How did I not…
-
please solve my problems.
A couple of smaller problems, anyway. I’ve got two glasses stuck together. One is a small, square glass. It’s trapped inside a larger mug. I found them in the cabinet this way, and they are very much in love and don’t want to be separated.
-
worlds colliding
While Evany thinks it’s the coolest thing to excuse out of an art show by saying you’re busy last-minute shopping for a ball gown, I think it’s much more awesome to do all first introductions with people you idolize by shouting, “I HAVE GO BUY COOKING OIL!” And it’s true that only AB would email…
-
Dear Dad,
I can’t believe it’s been five years and three days since you died. Five years. So much has happened that you’ve missed, much of it things you told me you knew you were going to miss. You were like an oracle in that hospital bed, pointing at the television, telling me my name was going…
-
proud moment
Who’s that up on my television screen, writing for the Oscars? Why, that’s two-time Emmy winner, Liz Feldman! (Remember when she used to just make jokes about my boobs and my butt? Me, too. I love ya, Liz Feldman dot org.)
-
and yes, i know he’s not even mexican.
For those of you who keep writing to me asking for more information on the ridiculous Rogan/Mencia debacle, please read Irwin’s latest, which says pretty much exactly what I would have told you. I’d add one more thing. Mencia’s been dealing with Rogan’s freak-outs for a long time. So much so that my favorite fake…