[scripty]
PAMIE
Hellooooo?

JESSICA
Hi. Are you okay?

PAMIE
Yeah. Hi. Are you okay?

JESSICA
Well, no, but… You sound funny. Are you crying?

PAMIE
I’m… Okay, I’m eating this curry. And it’s seriously the hottest thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. After every five minutes I have to stop eating it because my face hurts and my lips start to swell and I’m drooling.

JESSICA
Heeeeeee. You know, you sound really upset. I was worried.

PAMIE
Because I’m crying. But this curry is so good! I’m not kidding; I put the bowl down and wait until I can feel my face again, and my skin is getting kinda blotchy, but after five minutes I crave it and I’ve forgotten all about the pain. Then I dig in, shovel four bites into my mouth and then: “Flames! Flames, on the side of my face…heaving!”

JESSICA
Ha!

PAMIE
So, I had just waited the five minutes for my next bite, but then I saw you were calling, and I thought it would be a real asshole thing not to answer the phone just because my curry was too hot, and I thought I’d be able to handle it, so I shoveled a bite and then answered the phone, so now my tongue is on fire and I’m drooling.

JESSICA
Yes, I hear both the drooling and the crying.

PAMIE
Jessica, I’ve been eating this curry for the past hour!

JESSICA
Oh, my God! That is hilarious!

PAMIE
And these are leftovers.

JESSICA
What?! Ha! Haaaaaaaaaaaaa.

PAMIE
I did this exact same thing to myself last night.

JESSICA
That’s ridiculous! Oh, I can’t breathe. That is exactly what I needed to hear. Because I have been in such a bad mood, but that is…you…well, you sound crazy.

PAMIE
My mouth hurts so much. Your turn. What’s wrong? What happened?

JESSICA
Well, I had this bag of chocolate chips I had been saving for myself, to either put in some cookies I’d make, or just eat them all by myself because I’m too lazy to make cookies, and I went to go eat them tonight, but someone had thrown them away, and I was irrationally angry about it and I just stormed out of the house. But like, they were my chips and– what is that sound? What are you doing?

PAMIE
[caught]
Hmm? Are you talking to me?

JESSICA
Yes! What are you doing?

PAMIE
… I… I was grabbing some chocolate chips out of the pantry.

JESSICA
OH MY GOD!

PAMIE
You made them sound really good! And I thought it might cut some of the burn.

JESSICA
You are…

PAMIE
Pathetic. I know.

JESSICA
You’re pathetic? I’m the one who’s mad about chocolate chips.

PAMIE
So mad you ran away from home.

JESSICA
No, I…. yes. I guess I did. I ran away from home.

PAMIE
I understand.

JESSICA
Did the chips help?

PAMIE
Kinda. Maybe because they had peanut butter in them.

JESSICA
Are you six?

PAMIE
Shut up. Ow. OWWWWWW!

JESSICA
Did you just have another bite?

PAMIE
I can’t stop eating this curry of pain!
[/scripty]

[db]

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[Note: warm, fuzzy feeling 100% less warm and fuzzy than Southern Style Curry from Jitlada, but still might make you cry.]