An Open Invitation to George Clooney.

Anytime.

Anytime, Mr. Clooney. It doesn’t have to be dinner, although I make an excellent whatever-you-want-to-eat. Lunch. Coffee. I have three different ways to make coffee at arm’s reach right now. You could come for breakfast. A glass of wine. Tooth-brushing time. I’m way more entertaining than Joel Stein. I can say that without a single shred of evidence because I’m just that ridiculous. (And you’re just that George Clooney.)

Also, you’re welcome to investigate that strange noise coming from the bedroom.

(It’s me.)

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