Dan presents: five rejected blog pitches, 2005

Not posting on a blog for a while sure makes you rusty! Here are some entries I actually started on and then, just as abruptly, stopped. And for that…you are welcome.

The pitch: What It Was Like For Two Months In New York
The thesis: It was busy and it was effing hot.
Reason I didn’t post it: Nobody cares.

The pitch: The State Of The Modern Cinema
The thesis: Zombies are scary, Romero…WE GET IT.
Reason I didn’t post it: Bizarre desire to stay on Dennis Hopper’s good side.

The pitch: Being Out Of Touch With Current Events
The thesis: Wah wah! I’m so busy! I’m out of touch with current events!
Reason I didn’t post it: a) This was kind of part of my “New York was too busy for me to do anything fun” entry, so it was redundant and b) included the sentence, “Hey! Can you believe what’s going on with the case of the young Terry Schiavo?”

The pitch: Places There Shouldn’t Be Traffic In LA…BUT THERE IS
The thesis: The 405 at the 101 interchange at midnight! Little Santa Monica Blvd. when all the stores are closed!
Reason I didn’t post it: No, you guys. I seriously started on this. I’m a George Carlin routine from 1979.

The pitch: Things That Are Hard About Producing A Musical
The thesis: Wah wah! Musicals are hard!
Reason I didn’t post it: Nobody cares.

Hey, all. Good to be back.

And, coming up in the future…
The pitch: I’m still single
The thesis: There are so many fat people in relationships, and I’m not even fat! What am I doing wrong?
Reason I won’t post it: Eh, I probably will.