Los Feliz 3, the theater where I saw Fahrenheit 9/11, was also playing Super Size Me and The Stepford Wives.

Might as well have renamed the place “Houston Blows.”

People couldn’t believe I went to a high school where vending machines were installed next to the gym, Cokes were allowed in the classroom, and the only fundraising allowed in school was candy sales. Gym wasn’t mandatory, particularly if you were an honor student, and our school was nestled between a Sonic and a Dairy Queen.

Military recruiters would sit at tables in our lunchroom, asking us what our plans were after school. They’d give away t-shirts while promising futures of world travel and a free ride through schools our parents couldn’t dream of affording.

Absolutely nobody believes me when I tell them about The Power Team, the crazy pumped-up athletes who would break boards and ice for Jesus. They would come to our school and we’d be trapped in the auditorium, watching them pump and yell for Jesus. “POWER TIME!!!!” Then they’d sign you up for Jesus.

Why is a Power Team school assembly effective?
It’s hard for a speaker wearing a suit & tie to get most students attention. The Power Team brings a contemporary, relevant approach to get a message into the student’s heart. They use feats of strength from their massive size to get kids attention. Some of these feats include: ripping 3 license plates in half, bending an inch of steel in their teeth, pressing 500 lbs. Over their heads, and exploding three 2 x 4’s with a flex of their chest.

Seriously. And then I had a calculus test.

Finally there are films that illustrate what my high school experience was like. My friends have a whole new sympathy for me.