During the time I was supposed to be recapping, I chose instead to shirk my livelihood of writing about television by…writing about television. The following IM conversation certainly isn’t a great example of snappy writing, but I’m posting this here to make everyone understand that, 6000 words a week later, and I still want to talk about a UPN reality show. In my spare time. People. It’s just that good. Go watch it. And then tell them I’m available for the panel.

Traciepotes: when is your top model recap going up?
Djblau: top model will be up tomorrow. man, i love that show.
Djblau: just saying.
Traciepotes: it’s so good!
Djblau: i already can’t wait for the next episode.
Djblau: i gave it a flat-out “A.”
Traciepotes: “you look like you’re 13! like a child prostitute.”
Traciepotes: who do you think is going to win?
Djblau: dude.
Djblau: i really want yoanna to win.
Traciepotes: ellen and i were discussing today.
Djblau: and you think…?
Djblau: april?
Traciepotes: they’ve been highlighting april so much that she can’t possibly win.
Traciepotes: i said maybe yoanna, and ellen said, “but they hate her body” which is true.
Djblau: i agree that both of those things are true.
Traciepotes: i think it might be mercedes. lupus and all.
Djblau: BUT!
Djblau: they’re burying yoanna temporarily. she was big a few weeks ago, and now she’s peripheral.
Traciepotes: it’s so true.
Traciepotes: yoanna’s face is just so pretty.
Djblau: her face is perfect. and i love her hair.
Djblau: gayest observations ever.
Traciepotes: once, you said “but.”
Djblau: okay, but. i thought tyra’s “metaphor” about the house was really telling.
Traciepotes: how come?
Djblau: well, i think she’s a big yoanna fan.
Djblau: and i think she was highlighting the fact that no one is perfect, so why not just go with the pretty girl who has seventy vowels in her name.
Djblau: therefore, yoanna must be the victor.
Traciepotes: okay.
Djblau: just not feeling it for april.
Djblau: she’s a blob of negative energy.
Djblau: like meredith.
Traciepotes: i watched ANTM again last night, so much do i love it. i made jill watch it.
Djblau: oh, god. an early test, to be sure.
Djblau: was she slightly horrified?
Traciepotes: a little. she said she liked it , but i think she might have been lying.
Djblau: well, that’s compromise for you.
Traciepotes: it’s true.
Traciepotes: tasha smith-arquese.
Traciepotes: is that her name?
Djblau: yep. except there’s no “u” in her last name.
Djblau: which was heavily noted.
Djblau: by me.
Traciepotes: weird.
Traciepotes: when do you think they will boot camille?
Traciepotes: despite being a freak, she DOES photograph well.
Traciepotes: oh, and i love how the whole show has now become a commercial for all things tyra.
Djblau: she really does show up well on camera. but there’s NO way she can win. every week, it’s a little heartbreak.
Traciepotes: i know! good drama though.
Djblau: oh, totally.
Traciepotes: i’m so glad that you love the show!
Djblau: amazing that i still want to talk about it after the recapping. that’s never happened before.
Traciepotes: it’s the thing sweeping the nation.
Djblau: seriously, if i wanted to be a publicist, i could pitch the best story about that show.
Traciepotes: how so?
Djblau: well. people don’t take it seriously because it’s about models and it’s on UPN, so everyone scoffs when they hear the title.
Traciepotes: but the show is brilliant.
Djblau: well, yes. BUT if you position it to look like “the apprentice” where it’s all about careerism and capitalism and dog-eat-dog, people would totally pay attention.
Djblau: you WIN something real. you don’t win “love” or some stupid thing.
Traciepotes: wouldn’t you love to be an editor on that show and sit through hours and hours of footage?
Djblau: indeed, i would love that.
Traciepotes: you DO win something real. a modeling contract with IMG.
Traciepotes: a spread in jane magazine.
Djblau: and a contract with sephora.
Djblau: and eric nicholson’s weird skinny tie.
Traciepotes: dan.
Djblau: yes?
Traciepotes: you’re still in the running towards becoming america’s next top model.
Djblau: thanks, potes!
Traciepotes: you’re welcome!
Djblau: potes?
Traciepotes: yes?
Djblau: will you accept this rose?
Traciepotes: NEVER!
Djblau: hee.
Djblau: damn.
Traciepotes: okay, go recap.
Djblau: can i post this entire IM convo to the blog? my ANTM love can no longer be denied.
Traciepotes: sure!
Traciepotes: i am your blog muse.
Djblau: oh, crap. i closed the box mid-convo!
Djblau: do you have the whole thing?
Traciepotes: i do
Djblau: thx