dan cleanses his palate

Ew! Ew ew ew ew ew. I once knew a boy whose hatred of Boufant Ben was so strong and pointed that even a photograph of him in a magazine would send the boy into a mad rage, causing him to slam his closed fist down on the photo repeatedly and scream “aaaaah!” Because if you’re gonna scream, that seems as good a sentiment as any. Too bad that was the only thing the boy did well in the end. Sorry I stayed on the phone with him that one time rather than talking to you, Pamie. You’re much prettier than he was, anyway.

A much better use of the printed word is in this week’s New Yorker. I can’t believe I’m suggesting an article on grammar, but this piece on the new edition of the Chicago Manual of Style is absolutely perfect. Print it out. Take it on your day. Enjoy ideas like “First of all, it is time to speak some truth to power in this country: Microsoft Word is a terrible program. Its terribleness is of a piece with the terribleness of Windows generally, a system so overloaded with icons, menus, buttons, and incomprehensible Help windows that performing almost any function means entering a treacherous wilderness of pop-ups posing alternatives of terrifying starkness: Accept/Decline/Cancel; Logoff/Shut Down/Restart; and the mysterious Do Not Show This Warning Again.” And if you hate it and decide I’m a big dork for suggesting it, you can slam a hand into the face of poor Louis Menand. Just tell him Affleck sent you.

New Bachelor recap is up. Containing a mention of Pamie!

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