I totally got a 71 on my state-wide standardized Biology final in 10th Grade. I remember this because it meant I didn’t have to take Biology again, because it meant I was GOOD enough not to. And after all that, you know what I totally think rules? Telephase.

Since we’re sharing, this is my favorite ever Cliche Hate Mail from the vault. It’s an oldie, but from the polemic tone, I’m sure you’ll agree that this guy is still stomping around his dingy apartment somewhere, kicking a can around the room with his hands jammed really deep in his pockets, still fuming mad. He was just that nonsensically angry. My response to him was, “Thank you for your email. What a coincidence. Your writing makes me [sic].”

Oh, and I’m a huge-ass fan of that “no offense” as a preface, by the way. But seriously, for my own sake, I sincerely hope this guy was grading on a curve.

———————————————–
Dear Djb,
No offense but when you write your reviews on the episodes of shows like Roswell etc, does it occur to you to actually write what happens in the show. Because I for one are sick and tired of looking at your reviews having to read your lame and rather pathetic excuses for show reviews. Leave your petty little dislikes at home and write what people want to read. We’re sick of having to read your “shit” ie your lame comments especially the ones that don’t have anything in common with the actual show.
Plus, if you don’t like the show then why do you bother writing nasty cruel reviews? Because what you don’t realise is that millions other people in the world do enjoy the shows.
So next time think about your writing, and if you don’t like the show then surely you should know that if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all and stop wasting millions of internet interested people’s time.
———————————————–