dan proclaims it “Share Your Pretty, Pretty Poetry Day” on da blog

That was some sassy verse, indeed, Pamela. Thank goodness I showed up when I did to slum the place up a bit.

Recently, in the throes of utter delirium, Tracie and I wrote the first eight haikus in a collection we will one day publish as a slim, artsy-looking volume of poems entitled At Tim Rice Dot Com.

Wha-huh? Well, allow me to explain.

Tim Rice, for those of you not quite gay enough to be in the know, is a librettist whose early career featured numerous collaborations with Andrew Lloyd Webber, “musical” “genius” and cover model of Dead Or British: A Study In Sallow Skin Tones. Together, they wrote shows such as Jesus Christ Superstar, Evita, and Joseph and his Something Something Fibbity-Fibbity Dreamy Coat Something. But, as all things must end, they were eventually to go their separate ways. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s future projects included the critically unsung Requiem, the I-can’t-believe-I-ever-memorized-this-whole-show-and-oh-yes-also-saw-it-three-times horror show Aspects of Love, and the well-known but highly unrespected Divorcing Sarah Brightman. Meanwhile, Tim Rice inspired Elton John to write the dreckiest music of his career, single-handedly ruining the integrity of the man no one even remembers wrote “Take Me to the Pilot.” Anyway, late at night it made sense to us that Tim Rice needed a fansite. But this was not to be just any fansite. This was to be one that featured Tim Rice is a series of compromising, titillating positions. And he’d bring all his friends. And it would be very creepy. And it was to be commemorated entirely in haiku form.

And, thusly, At Tim Rice Dot Com was born:


My aspects of love
Make me think of my right hand
Give me URLs

Musical theater
Something stirring in my pants
Man, I love this show

Give it to me now
I don’t mean the porn, I mean
Andrew Lloyd Webber

This showtune is hot
Like the corners of my mind
I swear I’m not gay

Turn on my PC
My phantom of the opera
Unmask it with porn

Turn on my PC
I swear, man, this shit is hot
It’s Tim Rice.com

I love Evita
I want to see her naked
On Tim Rice.com

I like naked chicks
Including Betty Buckley
It’s Tim Rice.com


Fun stuff.

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