Hi. I’m Cal! I’m Cal! Hi! hi, I’m Cal. I’m cal hi, hi, hi! Have we met?/ I’m calllll!!

I love Paper Towels! And this is my paper towel pillow that I love because I’m Cal and I love this paper towel roll that I love because I’m Cal.

Hi! I’m Cal. I’m Cal!

Snowflake. Tweezers. Skaeechhhh.

Brriiriririririr?!?! Mei, mih, mrrrr.

Hi, I’m Cal! This is my favorite place to take a nap in the morning.

Yay, window! Window, window, windoe, wondoe, wondoah…won..d…zzzzz.

Hi, I’m Cal! This is my window! It’s where I take my windoze! Mm. Windowze.

Here I can watch outside and inside, because I love two things: outside and naked people in the shower!

Naked people in the shower. Mmm. They taste so good! SO GOOD! TWISTER MOMUBF GOOD I’M CAL! CAL! CAL!!!

Sometimes, on good day I can get my whole body in the windoze. But most days I just mush myself up as much as I can! IT’S A TIGHT FIT HA HA HA!

See? I’m CAL! HI! I’M CAL!

You are specal specail…special.. ha ha! Specal. Like me! I’m Cal!

Mmm. If you would just step into my naked person wet place, I would lick your naked face! Come on! Let me! I’m specal! I’m Cal! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Soooo… soo sleepy… mmm… snowflake.

If only you’d let me lick your forehead… maybe I could stay awake enough for… smnen… slen… smammm…. cal… hm.

REMEMBER WHEN I TRIED TO KILL PAMIE?

That was funny. I choked her. She was all, “Wha? I can’t breathe! He’s on my throat! Pushing on my neck!” I got her good. She was all coughing and I’m Cal. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey, I’m Cal! Hi, hi!

That was back when I was only fifteen el bees. Now I’m almost twenty! I’m Cal! Mighty! Windoze!! BRRRIGHGIRHRHRIR!

Hey, hey! Hi! I’m Cal.

Hey, where are you going? Can I come? I’m Cal.

Wanna see my friends? You wanna? You wanna? I have friends, you wanna see? Wanna see?

I know things that have me in them. Calorie. Calcium. Calgon. Calcal. Cal. California. Calmoninium. Calamity. Calalalalalalala.

I’M CAL!

These are me and my buddies! The couch isn’t really puprle, pamie told me to say. I mean, porple. Purrrple! Purr-ple, like me! I’m Cal! I’m Cal Cal Cal Cal purr-ple! Hi, hi!

Ooh, look how mad Taylor looks. That’s what he does now all the time. He goes “grr.” And then he goes “grrr.” And then I go, “Hi, I’m Cal!” And then he hits me, and then he goes, “Heeeeeeiiiii!” And then I go “Snowflake!” and then he knocks me over and rips out some of my butt fur and he wears it like a moustache. HE’S SO FUNNY!

HI, I’M CAL!

Okay, right here is the shizznLE!

OH, MAN. THIS IS MY BED. MY BED. WHERE I SLEEP AT NIGHT WHEN I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP IN MY WINDOZE AND WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY MEWS IN THE BIG ROOM WHERE I LIKE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR OR IF THERE ARE TWO MANY OF MY FRIENDS ON THE COUCH THAT’S NOT PURRPLE.

isn’t it KeWl?!? I’m Cal! That’s my bed! Nobody goes in it but me!

I cna’t fit in it so good, so I usually keep a paw out, in case someone needs to high-five me, or if someone wnats to be my new friend while i nap. Just say hi! Hi, hi, I’m Cal!

Have we met? I’m Cal. Can I chew on your fingertip? Just for a second. I promise I’ll lick it right after.

I love my new home. I don’t even remember anything called Texas. Is that like snowflake?!/ I’m Cal!

So, anyway, I just thought I’d check in wth the web people that pami e knows because they’re nice and send me pounce sometimes that taylor eats because I don’t so much go for the weird cat foods. I prefer things like lettuce, or maybe some kind of sour cream or just you know, some old fur or a tennis ball. Oh, I love tennis balls. Those are tasty. And sometimes I like to just chill cold kick it in a good suitcase or a bag or a purse. I love nothing more than a tiny little purse. I love them. I will get inside any kind of bag or backpack. Todd’s briefcase is the best thing next to my shnizzle bed. Oh, and I really love chairs, any kind of chair you were going to sit in, I’ll totally chill. I’m Cal! I love parties and meeting new people and making new friends. Do you want to be my friend? Can I have your emailaddres? Hold on, I’ll get a pen. I jsut had it here in my….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Everything is Illuminated.