In honor of opening night for 8 Mile, a little ditty about how I’ve been running my ass off around Silver Lake to look good in my groomsman dress this December. That’s right, I’m a groomsman, and I’ve been listening to Eminem on my runs to keep me motivated. He’s so angry it makes me angry and then I run faster.

Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To show everyone how much you rule -One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are startin’ to twitch
There’s vomit on her sweater already, Cipro’s a bitch
She’s nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready
To drop feets, but she keeps on just a-sweatin’
She wants to finish, the whole track’s so damn long
She catches her breath, hopes her legs won’t give out
She’s chokin, how everybody’s jokin now
The clock’s run out, time’s up over, blouww!
Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes pamie, she tripped
On that crack, but she won’t give up that
Is she? No
She won’t have it, she threw out her back and she
looked like an ass like a dope
She knows that, but she’s broke.
She’s so stacked that she knows
When she goes back to her yoga mat, that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rhapsody
She better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass her

[Hook:] You better fix yourself, with the music, the moment
A wedding, you’re a groomsmaid, don’tcha know.
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance, oh no!
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo.

The soul’s escaping, thinking of mile-counts faking.
Reception’s mine for the taking.
Watch my eyes, as we move toward all those shocked galkers.
A normal life is borin’, but journalstardom makes you have stalkers.
Ex-boyfriend is best man, standin’ beside him.
She acts like she don’t care, these hos was all on him.
Coast to coast shows, she’s known as the globetrotter.
Lonely roads, God only knows
She’s now farther from home, LA to Atlanta
She goes home and eats a sandwich from Cantah’s
But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
Her legs don’t wanna move no mo, she’s exhausted
She’ll never make it around, she must force it.
She’ll never own a dress by Prada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it’s old potna, but the beat goes on
Da da dum da dum da da

[Hook]

No more games, I’ma change what you call age
Tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin, the mood all changed
I been Tae Bo’ed and Atkins’ed and filled with rage
But I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next chapter
Best believe NaNoWriMo’s makin’ me a caught captor
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can’t get by with my 9 to 5
And I can’t provide the right type of life for my family
Cuz man, these goddam spec scrips don’t buy litter
And it’s no movie, there’s no Michelle Pfeiffer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it’s getting even harder
Tryin to pay the rent and see three movies a week,
Could be worse — least I’m not a prima donna
Agent / contract drama’s screamin on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another jam or not
Has gotten me to the point, I’m like a snail

I’ve got to formulate a plot fore I end up broke or smoking pot.
Success is my only mothafuckin option, failure’s not.
Mom, I love you, but I gotta borrow some dough.
I cannot grow old in Silverlake,
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Hook]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s some serious water falling from the sky out there. Water, falling from the sky. It’s making this strange sound that drowns out the sirens, the highway rumble, the trains, the bells and screeches from the nearby school. It’s like a dripping, a pattering, a sprinkling sound. Everything’s all wet. I’m supposed to have lunch today with a friend, and all the places I was going to take him only have outdoor seating. What do those restaurants do on days like this? Who authorized this rain? Who gave rain the greenlight?

Actually, I’m so happy about the rain. I only happens about four times a year, so it’s like a holiday to see it raining outside, the sky not blue for a change. It’s cool outside and feels like waiting for the schoolbus. I love it. The smell of water on pavement — I love that smell. And at least it’s not this “You Could Die At Any Time” storm like we’d get in Texas, where it was unbearably hot and then tornados and lightening slammed against your house and then in four seconds it was all over. This rain started last night and it’s supposed to continue until tomorrow.

It’s all because Dan’s moving to New York. When we were moving him back to LA just three months ago, it rained just like this in New York so we had to pack his car soaking wet, and it rained the entire morning we drove away from New York. The sky hates it when Dan moves.