At the risk of sounding like I make up every crazy thing that happens around here, a car just crashed into the front of my neighbor’s house.

Everybody’s okay, the car’s pretty much totaled and the house suffered worse damage than one would think. I was just sitting here working when I saw a car roll right into the house. I guess they were turning around, using my neighbor’s driveway, when the brakes failed. Boom. The cats were so instantly alarmed that I thought somehow the car had crashed into our house even though I saw what had happened.

The police are on their way and I guess I might be some kind of Rear Window-type witness. I just wanted to come here and let you guys know that all of your web hosting suggestions have been very helpful, and I think at this point I’ve narrowed it down. I hope all of this will be resolved soon. But some of you were worried this meant I’d be taking down the journal. I’m sorry I scared you; I was just trying to figure out what to do. We’re only in the third month of this site, so I need to take precautions so this doesn’t happen again in a few months. Anyway, all of you have been so eager and helpful that I now have a handful of suitors for pamie.com. That’s right, my website’s getting wooed. She dropped her bandwidth handkerchief and I’m waiting to see who picks it up.

My videotape of the ABC World News Now segment arrived yesterday. Jeez, I sure did a bang-up job, huh?

[scripty]
SARS
Smart sentence, smart sentence, funny quip, good word, bigger word, smart, informed, intelligent thing to say.

NEWSLADY
Blah, blah, blah, question, blah.

SARS
Smart, smart, smart. Funny, funny, really funny, smart, smarter, so smart, big word, big word, just enough sarcasm that you now want to have sex with me.

PAMIE
TELEVISION IS COOL!

NEWSLADY
Stammer, stammer, try to recover. Question, uninformed question, bizarre L.A. Law mistake.

PAMIE
MATT DAMON!!! WOOO!!!

SARS
Very cool, calm, collected, intelligent, posing theories, possible outcomes, smart, sexy, good.

PAMIE
Hey! You guys seen The Gilmore Girls?! That’s good t.v. Rory! CuteDean is cute! WOOOO!

SARS
Fixing pamie’s mistake at naming her own show with a definite article when there isn’t one. Smart, witty, funny, funny.

NEWSLADY
Question, question, blah, blah.

PAMIE
Am I on T.V. right now? COOL! WOOOOO!
[/scripty]

I thank you guys for keeping the truth from me for as long as possible. You know what’s going to be great? My reel. This and Big Boob Girl. What high caliber of excellence. I’m gonna be a staaah!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I have a witness report to fill out.