random thoughts littered with vh-1

So, here we are a little over a month into the new pamie.com. We only had to switch domains twice. The forum has only been down once. Is everyone okay? Are you settled in? Any complaints or compliments?

I took a nap when I got home. I’m bad at the napping, so I ended up sleeping for almost two hours. That means I’ve ruined all possibilities of getting to sleep at a decent hour.

It’s very late. My idea tonight was to have a couple glasses of wine and that would make me sleepy and then I’d just go right to sleep for a few hours before my very early plane ride.

What ended up happening was we had a very nice time with our friends. I got home late, called my cab, and they are going to send it earlier than I thought they would so I’ll make my flight in time. That means I only have about two and a half hours before it’s time for me to leave. I have to pack. I have to get ready.

I’m not getting any sleep until I get on the plane.

I don’t mind that so much, since I don’t like the plane. But I know I’ll be cramped up in the middle seat or something, unable to use my computer, forgetting to bring a book, stuck in a position where I can’t fall asleep, begging that I get a nap in that afternoon once I hit check-in time.

I like this time of evening because I finally get to see some damn music videos.

Christina’s “What A Girl Wants” scares me because there’s this clown jamming out in the background. What’s up with that, yo?

Those two projects I was saying yesterday I always procrastinate on? I finished one today. I’m feeling pretty proud about that. Maybe I’ll crank out the other on the flight home on Sunday. You never know. Long flights make me write lots.

I can’t even express how happy I am about the next few weekends being vacations. I feel like I’ve just been on full-tilt for so long now, that it’s nice to think I’m just going to be out having fun for a few days. Not stuck in an airport, not saying a teary goodbye, not wishing I could see someone, just being out with the people I care about, having a good time, not worrying about work or wishing I was somewhere else. Just being out. I’m very excited about that.

There’s a moth in the house. This starts the moth dance with the two cats. They sing and stare at the moth for a long time. They knock things over trying to get closer. And then they watch the moth fall into the halogen lamp and burn. I then have to unplug the lamp and take it outside, shaking the charred insect carcass off the bulb.

They like tradition. I’m not going to disrupt it.

Madonna’s new video makes me uncomfortable. It’s like the first time I ever saw porn. Turned on the videotape in the VCR thinking it was “21 Jump Street” but instead found “It’s All Pink Inside.” Music I don’t really like, and a woman that looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet. I’m not excited about the new Madonna.

And if you don’t know by now, I’m a little drunk, writing this. My plan has backfired. Now I’m writing drunken entries. This is not my beautiful life.

Top ten things I’ll miss about Austin:

• My friends.
• The Bad Dog.
• The view of the city skyline.
• How close I am to my parents. Just a two hour drive.
• Nothing is more than a fifteen minute drive.
• The lake.
• The memories I have just driving by buildings.
• The UT campus. I really do like that campus.
• The feeling of being at home.
• Lavaca — the bar we used to spend so much time in.

So, I’m fully aware that Destiny’s Child is just one verse with nineteen repeats of the chorus. This does not stop me from loving each and every song. I hate myself for it. I love myself for it. I’m complex.

I can’t believe they’re still playing that Jennifer Lopez video. Aren’t we all done with that?

Okay, so I’ve (mostly) packed, had about six cigarettes and almost a full Diet Coke and the cab isn’t due for another two hours.

That’s not enough time to sleep. Not enough time at all.

Have I mentioned my obsession with time zones? I am. I don’t know why. Like, I think my flight is three hours to Phoenix, but I don’t know if Phoenix is in Mountain or Pacific, and I remember something about them not observing Daylight Savings Time, which I’m pretty sure we’re not in (when you fall back, you fall back into normal time, right?), so maybe my flight is only two hours and my flight from Phoenix to Vegas is an hour and twenty minutes and not just twenty minutes. Now, I’m also just a bit lazy, so I’m not going to bother just clicking three places online and finding out what time it really is in Phoenix. Or even just opening my Handspring would tell me. I’m lazy.

Has someone used this new crystal cat litter? Does it work? Do you really get thirty days before you change the litter? Because I’ve got two pot bellied pigs for cats, and I’m pretty sure there’s not a crystal on Earth that could contain their waste.

The moth has rested on the ceiling. Cal, suffering from OCD and ADD has decided to take a nap right under it.

Okay, one hour, fifty-five minutes. Maybe I should go wash my face or something. Pack up my shower stuff.

My mother has a layover in Phoenix as well. She wants me to try and get on her flight instead of the one I’m booked on. This fills me with such anxiety. That if I try and mess with the fate the airline has determined for me, I’ll just end up staying in Phoenix.

My Weezer tickets arrived today. Huzzah!

I haven’t packed a camera. I wonder if I need one. I haven’t really packed anything other than clothing. I know I’m going to forget to take my cell phone.

Okay, I’m really sober now, and now I’m tired. Too late. I have to stay up if I want to catch the flight.

I think I’ve seen every website there is. Some of them I’ve read completely twice.

This is silly. I’m just going to upload this and not worry about it anymore.

Go play on the forum. It’s crazy-fun. Have a good time while I’m gone. Get yourself a vacation. Summer’s almost over. Did you get to take that trip you wanted to take? Did you get to see that friend you’ve always said you were going to take a weekend to see? Did you surprise someone by showing up when they had figured you weren’t going to bother? Did you make someone smile by showing up? Your summer is ending. Take advantage of it.

I still get that feeling like I have to go back to school when summer’s over. I want to go and buy new clothes and school supplies. Every October I end up with new pens and notebooks I never use.

I have a tendency to spell the month “Octover” because of one day I was reorganizing the German press releases for our company. Three years of press releases from “Octover.” Now I’m so used to it, I always have to type it twice.

I type rather quickly, but there are some words I’ve just memorized incorrectly, and I instantly spell and edit while I type. “Commercial.” I always spell it “commercial” the first time, and then hit delete and fix it. I don’t even notice I do it anymore.

This Faith Hill video may be the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Just a bunch of screens. Nothing happens in any of the seven plotlines they expect us to follow. “I Love the Way.” They’ve got her in the Enema of the State outfit. I wonder what her Christian fans think of her in the black vinyl and “dirty teacher” outfits.

I’d still pay money to look like her, though. She’s a pretty woman.

The only reason I’d want to be a rock star is to have a reason to get all caught up in my singing, and have it be excusable to make those faces and raise my arms and flip my head around because I was passionate about my music. Damn musicians. When actors do that, they’re considered bad actors. Musicians are “passionate.”

Oh, God. It’s Creed. VH-1 played this lineup of videos in the exact same order two days ago. It’s sad that I know that, and it’s sad that I have to listen to Creed. That’s it. I’m just uploading. Maybe I’ll be too distracted to notice the horrible, horrible music coming from my television.

Go have fun.