i think my eyelids just melted. (Spoilers inside for High Fidelity, so watch out.)

Hot.

Not like, “Oh, it’s warm outside, you might want to put on some shorts and sandals.” It’s like, “What are you doing wearing clothes, are you crazy?” hot. Hot. HOT.

They (and I love calling them ‘They,’ by the way) – they say it’s going to stay at least 100 degrees every day for the next two weeks.

That’s uncalled for.

My original plan was to move to Los Angeles by July, so I missed the heat. The Texas summer. The suicide summers. Since I bumped my move to the fall, clearly Austin is punishing me for dawdling. Sending me off with heat poisoning.

Thanks, Austin.

So, it must be the heat that’s made me a bit crazy lately. Last night we went to see “High Fidelity,” which I’ve seen before but Eric hadn’t. I knew what it did to me, but I knew that Eric would like it, and I love seeing movies at the Alamo Drafthouse because you can have beer and popcorn and everything.

But I didn’t really warn Eric what would happen. I got up quickly to leave when the movie was over.

[scripty]
ERIC
Are you drunk?

PAMIE
A little. I just had the two beers, I don’t know. I’ve been sitting.

ERIC
Yeah, but when’s the last time that you had two beers on a Tuesday night?

PAMIE
I don’t know. I’m crazy! Enjoying my night off. Whoo!

ERIC
Crazy.

PAMIE
Uh-huh.

ERIC
Why are you looking at me like that?

PAMIE
You liked the movie, didn’t you?

ERIC
I loved it.

PAMIE
So will you stop walking around bad-mouthing it, now?

ERIC
I don’t bad-mouth it.

PAMIE
You do, too, because you loved the book and they set the film in Chicago.

ERIC
This movie came out months ago.

PAMIE
And you were still talking bad about it.

ERIC
A little. I take it back.

PAMIE
I knew you’d like it.

ERIC
You say that with so much spite.

PAMIE
Because that movie makes me mad at you.

ERIC
It does?

PAMIE
Yes, it does.

ERIC
Why?

PAMIE
I really don’t think you need me to tell you why the movie makes me mad, and if you do need me to tell you why the movie makes me mad at you then I’m really mad at you for not knowing why I should be mad at you and you should be apologizing.

ERIC
Um…

PAMIE
I knew the movie would get me all riled up again. I knew it, but I wanted you to see it because I knew you’d really like it.

ERIC
I did really like it.

PAMIE
I KNEW you’d really like it.

ERIC
I’m sorry.

PAMIE
No, don’t be sorry. I love that movie.

ERIC
Right.

PAMIE
Just like the book. I threw that book across the room when I finished it. I loved it.

ERIC
Right.

PAMIE
It’s the end. Just, the end.

ERIC
The end?

PAMIE
The whole thing, really. Why do you guys think that being with someone who loves you is settling for someone?

ERIC
Oh, man.

PAMIE
And why did Laura have to be so boring? Why did she just have to be this woman who loved Rob without any real passion or desire or whatever?

ERIC
I really liked Laura. I thought she was charming. I thought she was just sort of normal. Just the most normal person in the movie.

PAMIE
Uh-huh.

ERIC
To be honest, I thought she was a lot like…

INSIDE PAMIE’S HEAD
Don’t say me. Don’t say me. Say me and I jump out of this car on the highway. I am not like that tongue-toucher. I am infinitely more interesting and entertaining than that woman. I want some more popcorn. Shit. I forgot to program the VCR to tape Mr. Show.

INSIDE ERIC’S HEAD
Okay, pause time. Look at her eyes. I so can’t say that Laura reminds me of her. Can’t do it. I want to. She’s sorta like her. Blonde. I love her like Rob loves Laura. I’m not settling. But she’s going to think that if I say she’s like Laura, then she’s going to think that I’m just settling for her like she thinks Rob settled for Laura. He didn’t.

INSIDE PAMIE’S HEAD
He is so making me a mix CD this week, I just know it. He’s made himself nine mix CD’s over the past two weeks, and I haven’t gotten one. He made me a Bust A Groove CD, which I love, but not a mix CD. And all the mix CDs he makes he tells me right off I’m going to hate.

INSIDE ERIC’S HEAD
I thought Laura was a lot like…

ERIC
A normal person.

PAMIE
Oh.

ERIC
I’m just checking again. You liked the movie, right?

PAMIE
Loved it. But don’t you think the other women were more interesting? And I hate that theory where the guy’s like, “Well, I’m an asshole. That’s my thing. I screw up every relationship I’ve ever been in, and that’s how that works. I’m going to be lonely and miserable forever, and occasionally moan about me da while I down a pint and no one is ever going to love me.” Meanwhile, someone loves him, and he doesn’t even notice.

ERIC
He did notice Laura.

PAMIE
Huh. And none of the other girls were ever like, “Screw you.”

ERIC
That one girl did.

PAMIE
But he didn’t even hear her. It’s all Rob’s world, and so he’s not even learning anything from these relationships. And I just hate that, “Well, things are going too well with my relationship right now, so there must be something wrong. I bet you don’t love me anymore. Or I don’t love you. One or the other.” And you’ll be like, “But I didn’t say that. You did. You just made that up just now.” And he’s all, “Too late. I thought it. Now it’s fact. We aren’t good for each other anymore.” Talking yourself out of a relationship. What is that?”

ERIC
We could have just seen “Chicken Run.”

PAMIE
I’m not mad at you. I’m just mad that you can identify with the film so easily. Because when I watch it I think of you, and I wish I didn’t. I don’t want Lloyd Dobler all grown up and miserable because Diane slept with some French boy when they went to Europe.

ERIC
What?

PAMIE
I’m kinda just talking to myself now. But, you know, like, why did Ian have to be such a loser? Maybe Laura could have gone out and found a real nice boy instead of Rob so that Rob could have a REAL problem with her seeing someone else, because maybe she was actually happier sometimes. But instead, he was just concerned if she had slept with him yet. That was the only thing that concerned him. Not her happiness. Not if he remembered how she liked her coffee, or if he told her when “Friends” was on because she always forgets at six. He doesn’t want to know if Ian is funnier or richer or if he steals the covers. He just wants to know if she’s slept with him. It doesn’t sound like love.

ERIC
He loves Laura.

PAMIE
How? How do we know that? Why? Because he finally figured out after two years how to make a mix tape? Buddy, if you didn’t know that eighteen months ago, give it up. He wooed her with a mix tape. Surely he knew how to do it later.

ERIC
I’m going to make you a mix CD this week.

PAMIE
I know you are. I saw that coming when we were watching the movie.

ERIC
He didn’t sleep with the record store girl.

PAMIE
I think he did in the book, didn’t he?

ERIC
I don’t remember. But the point is, he didn’t just move on to the next new big thing. He stayed with Laura. He liked being with Laura and wanted to be with her.

PAMIE
He settled.

ERIC
He didn’t settle. He realized that he liked what he had. And the other new girls may have tiny things to offer that are exciting he knew that they wouldn’t be as perfect as Laura. You may think that it makes sense that he just wouldn’t sleep with the new girl, but it’s a big deal.

PAMIE
No, I can understand that.

ERIC
So, now I’m a little confused as to why you’re so riled up.

PAMIE
I don’t know. Because he… because… well… I don’t know.

ERIC
He’s not settling. He’s realizing what he has. And he knows it’s good.

PAMIE
But not great.

ERIC
He didn’t say that.

PAMIE
Whatever.

INSIDE ERIC’S HEAD
Why couldn’t we have just gone to “X-Men?”
[/scripty]

Also, I know that I’m a bit crazy from the heat because this weekend I did something I’ve never done before. As a treat to myself, I did the most frivolous thing I’ve ever done. I bought tickets for a concert. And then a flight. To Los Angeles. To see the concert.

That’s crazy. I know it is. It’s not like I’m following Phish. I’m taking a plane to see Weezer.

But you have to understand, there’s a rumor that Weezer is breaking up. This might be my last chance. Everyone keeps telling me that they would have done the same thing if they liked a band the way I like Weezer. But I don’t know.

On one hand, I feel really good about it. Like I just did something that I wanted to do because I could, and I did it to give myself a vacation for all of the work that I’ve been doing lately. But on the other hand, I could have used that money towards my move. On one hand, it’s good to go back to the city that I’m going to call home soon, on the other, I probably could have bought a chair or something. Or used it for the electricity bill.

But honestly, I think I did it just to escape this heat for a few days.

Besides, Eric is getting to see his favorite band when he’s in San Francisco for a few days. I think I was jealous. I had bought the ticket for him for his birthday. So, for about a month and a half I’ve been jealous that he’s going to one of our favorite cities and getting to see one of his favorite bands. Now, I get to do the same thing.

It’s all about keeping things in check.