ME: Hi, Mommy!
MOM: Hello? Hello?
MOM: Oh! Hi, Pamie! Hello.
ME: You okay?
MOM: Yes. It’s just…I couldn’t hear you because I put you on the speakerphone.
ME: … okay.
MOM: I hit the wrong button and then I heard your voice somewhere else and I thought, “That’s not right.”
ME: I don’t understand.
MOM: What’s up?
ME: Well… one week!
MOM: One week! I’m so excited!
ME: Me too. I was calling to see if you had any questions… and I have a favor to ask.
MOM: Well. I will try to remember what my questions are while you ask your favor.
ME:… okay. Well. You know how I do that book drive every year?
MOM: I do.
ME: Well, it’s going on right now, and this week’s been a bit slow. But late last week it picked up a bit when we did an incentive drive. We said if a certain amount of money was raised they’d have a dance party and take pictures. Which they did.
MOM: That’s nice.
ME: Yes, it is! And… well, I was trying to think of what would motivate people this week and what would make people want to help out the book drive and while I don’t feel like seeing me dance would be all that interesting… what I do have is… video of…. you. Singing Beatles Rock Band.
MOM: ……………………………………………………………………… Oh.
ME: And maybe, if we raised some more money and lots of books, then they would win… me posting that.
MOM: On the Internet.
MOM: I haven’t even seen this.
ME: Well, Tara did, and she said it was funny.
MOM: Uh huh.
ME: I mean good! It was good. She said, “Now I see where you get your moves!”
MOM: Mmm. How does this book drive work?
ME: What do you mean?
MOM: I go through your website and then what do I do?
ME: Okay, you click the link to go to Dewey, and then you click where it says “Donate Now,” and then you decide if you want to send money — which will be matched by a donor — or you pick a book out of one of those wishlists right there.
MOM: Okay, I’m looking at the books. I’m not sending them a book about Michael Jackson. That’s creepy. Where are the Beverly Cleary books?
ME: Maybe we already sent all of those.
MOM: …. sure are a lot of books about Obama.
ME: Hey, I know there are Dr. Seuss books on there. Let me see. Page four.
MOM: Okay. I picked one of the Dr. Seuss books.
ME: You could even send them Danny and the Dinosaur if you wanted.
(backstory: this is the first book my mom ever found me reading out loud to myself.)
MOM: I’d like that.
ME: Okay, then type that in and pick that, and then say you’re ready to checkout and make sure you pick the Village Learning Place for the shipping address.
MOM: Okay. Hold on. Oh, no. Oh. It needs my password. Let me try this one. Nope. This one? No. Okay, this one. Nope. This one. This one. I did it! Okay, now oh. It wants my credit card. Now this I could do with PayPal.
ME: No, the PayPal was for cash. This is going through Amazon, so you have to use your credit card.
MOM: ………. ……………. hmm.
ME: That’s Amazon’s fault, Mom.
MOM: Okay, let me get my credit card. Okay, I am putting my credit card in here and… hmmm. ……..hmmmmmmm. Okay, they’re on their way!
ME: Thanks, Mom!
MOM: Sure, honey. No problem. So now you don’t need any more books, right?
MOM: Fine. If they raise enough money and send a lot of books to those kids, you can post the video of me singing Beatles Rock Band.
ME: Thanks, Mom! You’re a good person.
MOM: Well, I don’t know what it looks like. Do I want to see it?
ME: I’m pretty sure that whatever you’re imagining that it looks like? That’s probably exactly what it looks like.
MOM: Oh, dear. That’s not good at all!
Okay, you guys. You want video of my mom singing Beatles Rock Band? It’s worth its weight in book and cash donations, I am telling you. I think it’s a minute or so long, and I won’t reveal what the song is for a couple of days because… well, it’s more fun to guess.
We are currently sitting at 357 books and $2130.
You have until Monday, September 20th, to get those numbers up to 600 books and $3000.
It only took you one week to raise that goal twice over. Please spread the word because I promise you guys this video is worth it. Do you understand it will be the first time my mother has ever let herself be seen singing in public anywhere? Her first video on the Internet? This is historic! 600 books for Mom’s 60th birthday!
ME: Mom, it’s really nice of you to do this.
MOM: Well, if they don’t reach the goal, you won’t post it, right?
ME: Yeah, but you understand they’ll probably reach the goal or I wouldn’t do this.
MOM: … well. Maybe they won’t reach the goal and then it won’t happen.
ME: But, Mom–
MOM: Just let me have that hope, Pam.