I looked up the upgrade standby list for my flight today and it said:

8. RIB, P.
9. DEP, J.

And for the splittest of seconds I was all, “OH MY GOD, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING.” What is wrong with me? How many romantic comedies did I have to see to fry my brain this way? Like that man is sitting in coach, fingers a-tingling, hoping for an upgrade. Like that man ever has to be on a waiting list.

Honestly.

Pathetic.

Anyway, I look forward to meeting you, Jennifer Depperschmitz.