[I was asked to write a script for the Baby Doll Brawl trailer based on my “coming out” entry where all the skaters in the Baby Doll Brawl would share a monologue about why we skate. In the end, someone else had cut together the All-Star reel to use instead (and we’ve been so busy practicing I don’t know when we would have had time to film this thing), so I’m printing my script here. This is dedicated to all the Fresh Meat derby girls kicking ass this Saturday (VIP sold out! General Admission still available! Hurry!). It’s awesome skating with you guys, and I wanted you to know that I wrote these words for you, because I’m continually impressed with and proud of all of you. Good luck. (Go team Witch-Slap!)]
People think I’m crazy.
I live a double life most don’t understand.
Are you judging me?
I didn’t tell anyone at first. I wanted it to be my secret.
But there are more of us. Lots of us.
So many women, all wanting the same thing.
Speed. And pain.
(Can I have a little less pain?)
I want MORE PAIN.
I’m a blocker.
I’m a jammer.
I’m a badass.
I fell so hard one time I thought my eyeballs fell out, I swear to God.
When you hit the ground, you hit hard. You can hear it. Your skin goes, “Skeeeeeeee!”
But you have to get back up.
I was like, “Y’all, don’t run over my eyeballs. I lost them back there on the track somewhere.”
Get back up
Now! Fast! Get up get up get up get up!
There’s this smell when you first walk in here. I love it. It smells like aggression. Like wheel grease and wet girl.
I have one, two, three, four, five, six bruises. No, seven. Wow. Eleven.
I have bruises I can’t show you at all!
What am I doing here?! I just thought it would be fun, and now I’m in a brawl and I have a costume and all these people are coming and –I teach third grade!
Get up get up get up get up!
My mom is really mad at me.
What is wrong with me?
I’ve never had so much fun being so bad at something.
But I’m so happy I don’t suck at this nearly as much as I used to.
Someone said to me, “You don’t look like you’d be a derby girl.”
Oh, really? Screw you.
Someone said to me, “You look like you’d be a derby girl.”
Oh, really? Screw you!
This is the toughest thing I’ve ever done.
It’s hard on the body, but harder on the mind.
I am so much stronger than I thought I was.
I have so much to learn.
I can’t believe everybody’s going to see me out there.
Check out my game face. Grrr.
Are people really going to watch me skate? I’d better get good. Fast.
(Yo, did you see me hit that girl back there? She went DOWN. I rule!)
My mom is really proud of me.
My grandma made my uniform.
Nobody can mess with me anymore.
You can’t do what I do.
Watch me roll.
Here I come!
Get up get up get up get up get up!
This is my night to show you just how crazy I am.
I am the next Derby Doll Superstar.
You should be.
Now get up
get up get up get up get up
get up and