I thought I’d be a good girl this morning, and do some yoga before heading to work, as we got a later call time today. I pulled out my mat and hit mute on the television, willing to do my workout to the sound of Howard Stern. Stee’s morning ritual dictates the only sound other than coffee brewing is the radio.
My yoga show wasn’t there. For some reason TiVo needed to tape last night’s Daily Show. No Inhale.
Stee jokes from behind his laptop. “I think I can do the whole thing from memory.” Then he does. “Welcome to Inhale, we’re gonna do some yoga. Stand up!” Then he begins singing a medley of “I Say A Little Prayer For You,” followed by that “Biddy-biddy-bop” song, and then “Love and Happiness.”
“Oh, you guys sound cranky this morning! Little difficult for you!” He’s still doing his best Steve Ross impression. I ignore him and bend into a downward dog. Howard’s got some Russian, bi-curious something-or-other on the show. She’s talking about how she brings girls home for her husband to watch her play with.
It’s quiet for a little while until stee comments, “Watching you do yoga while lesbians talk about having sex? That’s pretty hot.”
Cal wanders around my legs, asking me to keep my balance. He does the downward cat, sleeping on my feet.
Stee asks, “Would you like to see a picture of Jude Law’s penis?”
“Is it worth getting out of the Lotus position?”
“It’s really small,” he says with glee.
“Then I’ll stay here.”
Breathe in, breathe out. Howard’s at commercial, so the sound is on mute. A moment of quiet. Then:
“Hey, Bobby McFerrin has decided to take a break.”
I laugh until I snort. “Him and Beyonce, hardest working people in show business. One of them had to reach the breaking point eventually.”
Stee joins me on the yoga mat. “You know, you’re the only person who would think that’s funny.”
“Sometimes the skin on his chest needs rest before he smacks it again.”
“See, you think that’s all he does. He’s a conductor. Of orchestras. He tours all the time. He’s got a really hectic schedule.”
“Did you come over to this mat to ridicule me or point out what a dork you are?”
stee smirks. “I’m just saying.”
“So you honestly think I’m the only slack-jawed yokel who doesn’t know Bobby McFerrin’s fancy tour dates by heart?”
“Okay, flip it. I’m the only person who knows that joke isn’t actually funny.”
“That’s more like it.”
“But I like he needed to release a press release to let everyone know he’s tired.”
“We all do.”