Question: What do you get

Question: What do you get when you’re staying at your mother’s house with your fiance, trying to be on your best behavior?

Answer: A hickey. A big ol’ tenth-grade hickey that looks like someone took to your neck with a thick-ass rope. A huge hickey that cannot be contained, even with three layers of base, concealer and powder. A sucker mark that says, “stee was here.”

Classy.