i miss you, too

Today I made a list of all the entries I haven’t written yet that need to be. So know I’m thinking about you, hitters of the “refresh” button.

But one of the entries was going to be me simply saying this: I can’t believe how much I liked Dawn of the Dead. Also, my faith in America has been restored with Satan trumping Jesus at the box office.

And also this: Holy cow, that picture of Bruce Willis on the billboards for The Whole Ten Yards is absolutely terrifying. [link warning: terrifying photo of Bruce Willis inside]

me: Is that Paul Newman? Wait. What is that?
stee: Bruce Willis.
me: No. Is he wearing old age makeup?
stee: Sadly, no.
me: Is he playing Mr. Burns from The Simpsons?
stee: Again: sadly, no.
me: But the pointy nose, the scary neck, the skin, the…
stee: Are you talking about Bruce Willis, or Kevin Pollack in the old-age makeup?
me: Both! Either! What the hell is going on? Is that movie set in the future?
stee: No.
me: What was the first one about?
stee: I don’t know! I didn’t see it!
me: So defensive!
stee: Why would I have seen the first one?
me: You saw S.W.A.T..
stee: That can’t be your answer to every question.
me: Is Bruce Willis sick? Is he recovering from something?
stee: I think Bruce Willis might be getting old.
me: I’m so scared of that billboard.
stee: There’s one literally every ten yards.
me: He looks like he’s melting.