I’m not a “cow person,” but that doesn’t mean you can’t be. Behold, the latest in my inbox:
I have a serious and shallow problem. I have thought about it and thought about it and I have concluded that you are the only one who can help me. I am getting married in seven months and 25 days. I am having 200 guests. I am poor, as I have recently graduated and have a recent-graduate type of job. In a quest for some extra income, my boss suggested this site cafepress.com which allows you to create your own line of original goods and collect commission on them. So I gathered up all of my resources and I created the best product that I knew how.
I created clothes with cows on them.
I drew the cow myself and everything! Then I sent the link to my store to everyone I know. They all said it was great! They all said, “Yes! We will purchase your cow clothes to help finance your wedding!” That was weeks ago. Today, my commission report reads as follows:
Your current commission balance is: $0.00
Isn’t that terrible? I hate my friends and I am considering not feeding them at the wedding, but I digress. I began to consider advertising. I thought, “Where could my cow clothes get all the exposure that they are worth?” It came to me…I will ask Pamie to post my store link in her journal (or blog…Pamie’s call)
(My fiancée Brandon said to tell you that if you don’t want to, we will understand. I had him read WGAW. He LOVED it, but in retaliation I had to read one of the Old Lady mystery novels that he loves. I read, The Cat who Could Read Backwards. It meant that much to me that he read your book.)
Some quick additional reasons why I thought you would understand our plight:
1. We can recite Clue verbatim
2. We love Eddie Izzard (Dress To Kill was much better than Circle though)
3. I have your blog as the homepage on my computer at work
4. Who doesn’t love a cow?
5. I will be running a book club at the YMCA starting in January. We will be covering your book!
Anyway, here it is: http://www.cafeshops.com/cowsbybrooke
And there you go. I also want to say that I feel personally proud for you and all your success. I am taking baby steps towards similar goals for myself and I am using you as a kind of blueprint (not in a stalker way though, don’t worry.)
Brooke (and her fiancée Brandon who is watching her write this)
Y’all, they just want to get married. I know it’s a weird little cow, but some of you like weird little cows. It bums me out that none of their friends bought any of the mouse pads or hats.
Not that I’ve bought one, either. Huh.
What do you do when you’re faced with this dilemma? I get letters like this often from people asking for my help, for fund-raising and linking and all of that. Do you guys prefer if I throw them all up here on the blog, or would you want me to be choosier? How would I know if this cow is exactly the squiggle-cow you were looking for in a thong (I’d never put a cow that close to my ass, but some of you are braver than I). Do you like the blog for links like this because you can pick and choose your visits off the blog, or do you want me to do my own screening process first?