More Letters

mostly because i feel so scattered

Dear Handspring:

I have spent way too much time playing with you. I know that you are my newest toy, but my poor webcam didn’t even get a chance to snap a neat Cal photo before I left it standing in its own lens cap. I am experiencing a technology overload.


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don’t mess with my phone service

Attention Texans: Do not sign up for AT&T Local Service. They will jack your ass around. They lied to me repeatedly, and I’ve spent over nine hours of my life waiting for the Next Available Representative. They said that I wouldn’t even notice the switch from Southwestern Bell to AT&T. I asked five different representatives if specifically my Call Notes would be affected. Each one said no. They assured me that it would be a seamless switch.

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Not you. Me.

So, I guess I just wasn’t looking in the right place. Here’s the link to the Austin Chronicle’s Top Ten Austin Websites, in case you want to read what they said about me.

I’m feeling much better today. I remembered this nasal spray stuff that my doctor had given me last year for my allergies, and it seems to have done the job. That and it’s raining today, which makes some of the pollen clear the air. Woo-hoo!

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"Hey, I'm not that bad!"

an open letter from cigarettes (to be read in the style of James Gandolfini)


Hey kid.

Yeah, you.

Yeah. You know me?

What do you mean, “What?” I asked if you fuckin’ know me. How hard of a question is that? You been actin’ all day like you don’t fuckin’ know me, like we haven’t been together for the past five fuckin’ years, so I’m asking you again. Do you know me?





Jesus Christ, you know what? If you’re gonna look at me like that, then I don’t have time for you. Do you understand me? I don’t have time for you.

Oh, what, now you’ve gotta have this big fuckin’ attitude all of a sudden? Huh? You’re the Big Shot around here now, right? Huh?

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a little creepy


We decided it was time to get a new cat.

Taylor has seemed quite depressed and we found ourselves thinking of Lillith often. We went down to the animal shelter Saturday afternoon. I walked in and was looking at one of the cats when an arm popped out from a cage and grabbed my sleeve. Lillith’s arm. This cat looked just like Lillith, but young and healthy. The eyes were a different color. But it was a beautiful Russian Blue, just like Lillith.

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