Tag: Jason

  • Fightin’ Words

    I’m going to tell you about the time a lightbulb almost destroyed my relationship, but I can’t do it without a little backstory. For better or worse, one thing that Jason and I have in common is that we both really like to be right. We can get kind of jerky about it, which means […]

  • Everything Is Different Now

    Jason and I have been in talks to start a family for some time now. I say “in talks” because I find it to be along the lines of countries negotiating, as one nation will have to take on a serious — albeit short-term — obligation that could potentially affect that country’s GNP for some […]

  • Why I’m Missing Mindy Kaling’s Book Signing (More Proof I Can Never Be Cool)

    So I’ve had this cold. It’s been going on for over a week at this point, which is ridiculous. Listen, if I go through all the trouble to be responsible and get the flu shot before flu season, I shouldn’t be able to get sick for ten days straight with anything. I should get credit […]

  • Tales from the Accidental Asshole: The Wine Tasting

    Tales from the Accidental Asshole: The Wine Tasting

    I am not the best when it comes to names and faces. I will remember one or the other, but I cannot seem to put them together. And I’ve even tried the thing where you hear someone’s name and then you imagine them wrapped up in their name, like “Monica Berg” becomes a cheeseburger moaning […]

  • I Survived Eat Through Austin

    I Survived Eat Through Austin

    …and then this morning I Googled “master cleanse.” ooooooohhhhhhhhh man, I am full of food. This year’s food-trip with Tara and Dave was shorter than the last time, but I managed to get an extraordinary amount of eating in. I started strong and ended strong, you guys. I had ice cream for dinner last night. […]

  • It’s Not That Scary: Shooting a Gun

    It’s Not That Scary: Shooting a Gun

    I’m not sure how Jason got it into his head that I needed to shoot a gun. I know that he’s not the only person in my life who assumed I would enjoy such a thing. Chris Huff, a weapons expert, has wanted to take me to a shooting range for years. It’s only his […]

  • And then what happens when you find another girl’s bra in your apartment.

    [Setting: Twitter] @pamelaribon — I just pulled a bra out of my drawer and put it on, only to realize… this isn’t mine. I don’t shop at Victoria’s Secret. (…is it yours?) @Glark — Stop crowdtesting your new novel Pamie. @Mjfrig — Yes, I have man-boobs, okay! Stop rubbing it in. #idontreally #onlyajokeiswear @auriflamme — […]

  • What happens when you find another girl’s bra in your apartment.

    (there’s some language, just in case you’re at work.) First this happened. And then this:

  • anxiety

    Mom just brought me a chewable calcium supplement. Two, actually. “One for later,” she said, because Jason told her that Dr. Oz said somewhere that we can only absorb so much calcium at one time, so we need to take it in two doses. I am terrible at remembering to take vitamins, but I’m even […]

  • Possibly the Only Perk About Not Being Allowed to Play Roller Derby.

    [scripty] PAMIE A quick impression of the lady who just gave me a pedicure. She was like, “OH.” Held up my foot. “Oh.” JASON That poor woman. PAMIE I know. She put on latex gloves. Nobody else was wearing gloves. It was embarrassing. She thought I had some kind of foot condition. JASON Did you […]