To put it mildly, I’ve been dealing with an overabundance of feelings. Apparently this is all very healthy and normal, and I’m handling it with the closest I can come to grace. “Grace,” for me, is crying until snot falls, flailing around my bed like an angry pre-teen, whining to any friend who will listen until he or she says the one thing they all say, “You will be okay.”
Yesterday I checked a book out of the library that I realized this morning I’ve already read. This year. I checked out from the same library, which means its the exact same book.
it’s been like this all week
Okay. Okay. Okay.
This time I’m just gonna fall right to sleep.
Shutup, you. You’re going to sleep.
losing my religion. and my keys. where’s my car?
I want to be more organized. Right now I’m more unorganized than I’ve ever been in my entire life. My house is a mess. My carpets are stained. Dirty clothes have taken a corner of my bedroom hostage. My car smells like a Burger King. The kitchen looks like I recently threw a kegger.
And as my home gets more and more unorganized, so does my brain. I’m forgetting things. I never used to do this before. I never forgot things. The other day I filled a bottle of water with clean water and chilled it to take to rehearsal. I pulled it out of the fridge and sat it by my bag. I had charged up my cell phone and put that next to the bag as well. As I left for rehearsal, I took my bag and left the phone and the water behind. I keep forgetting to bring scripts to work that I need to e-mail to my troupe members. I forget to put on a load of laundry so that I have clean clothes.
why i shouldn’t be left alone for long periods of time
setting: pamie’s brain. Yesterday afternoon.
place: her car, stuck in a traffic jam
time: just after work.
Man. It’s hot. It’s really hot. Just in here, though. I have got to get my air conditioning fixed. I can’t believe I went through the entire end of the summer, promising myself I’d take care of it in the winter when it’s cheaper, and then I didn’t and now it’s about to be summer again and expensive and I still haven’t fixed the damn air conditioner.