Tag: Body Issues

  • How Roller Derby Prepares You For Motherhood (The Crossover)

    Dear Pregnant Derby Girl: Much like roller derby, you probably approached motherhood as something you’d seen before, mostly on TV or the movies, and you felt like you’d be pretty good at it. It does look like fun. But then you went and did it and just like during your first week of roller derby,…

  • You Should Be

    How’s everybody enjoying their holiday season? Already had a few teary fights and regrets? Having a lot of life-altering meditations and heart-to-hearts? Thinking about your life and what has happened to it? Determined to be able to see your feet again by this time next year? I hear ya, friend. I lift my non-alcoholic beer…

  • How I Might Have Just Become the Newest Urban Legend

    [AUDIO NOTE: I performed this piece this past weekend at Anna David’s True Tales of Lust and Love (also starring Melissa Villasenor, Morgan Walsh, and Claire Titelman.) I highly recommend listening to this tale in all its mortifying glory — it’s better with the sound of an audience screech-laughing in horror. Here’s the link to…

  • Some Things About Myself That I Need To Work On

    Some Things About Myself That I Need To Work On

    * When I’m in a public restroom and a lady comes out of the stall, I really want to stop saying “Thank you” to her when I pass her on my way in. And I mean, I really thank her in a genuine way, every time. There is no need for this thank you. It’s…

  • The day I have to finally admit that I might be rapidly turning into Hoda.

    The day I have to finally admit that I might be rapidly turning into Hoda.

    I’ve mentioned before, but probably not on pamie.com, that I watch Kathie Lee and Hoda most mornings. That’s not exactly true — I have it on while I’m working. Depending on which part of the house I choose to work from that day (couch if I’m feeling frustrated, desk if I’m feeling self-punishey), I will…

  • These Boots Are Made for Mocking

    Dear Stacy: UPDATE. These boots you helped me find, both are going back. The Frye “banana” is really more of a tan, and might work if I popped it with a crazy red or that blue you were coveting. That being said, it fits like a galosh, and is really pooling around my ankles. The…

  • maintenance

    Yesterday I made a list of people I needed to call to schedule appointments. At the top of the list: allergist. Mom called yesterday morning and said, “Have you seen the wheat doctor yet? I really want you to be able to eat bread again.” I think the next time I come to town, she’d…

  • jacked.

    I’m covered in bruises. Not little tiny ones, but the kind where people grab my wrist and go, “Oh, my God. What happened to you?” It started with just a couple, but now there’s a rather large one on the inside of my left elbow that’s getting uglier every day, and one on top of…

  • morning.

    morning.

    Goooood morning. I’m early for a meeting, and there’s wireless here. Yesterday I had a 9:00 meeting on the other side of town, which meant I left at 7:30 and still was a few minutes late. This morning I have an 8:00 meeting, so I left the house at 6:30. I’m here almost a full…

  • I promise I’m not dead.

    I’ve just been incredibly busy. I could write about my current work schedule, and the different jobs I’m juggling concurrently in books, television and film, and have a deep discussion about trying to have it all in a town where you’re never done trying to have it all while trying to keep some semblance of…