The Games We Play

I’m currently sitting on the floor typing while another version of me is currently playing on the television beside me. I’m making copies of the Anne Heche show for someone, and I’ve spent the morning calling people while watching them perform monologues. It’s a strange meta thing to talk to someone while listening to them yell. It’s even worse to watch yourself while trying to write about yourself. I’d say it was narcissitic, but I don’t have the ego.

I generally don’t watch myself on television. I still have a copy of my episode Beat the Geeks that Michelle sent me that sits, unwatched. I find that once I see myself up there, see what I imagine other people see, I tend to get a little depressed. I don’t like my voice, my forehead, the way my hair looks tired. I don’t like the way I rush when I talk, how red my face gets when I’m excited, the way my shoulders hunch towards my neck. I don’t like the way I move, the way my chin looks when I laugh, the way I tend to tremble when I’m holding something as a prop.

The more I watch myself, the more self-conscious I get. Then I start talking myself out of what I’m doing, and the next time I’m up on stage, I can’t help but feel like I shouldn’t be there. I try not to watch myself at all anymore, as it makes me change what I’m doing, and takes some of the joy out of my work.

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and I update some sagas.

The Cranium Saga Continues

Kymm can try and say she wasn’t a part of it, but I know better.

And Patrick can try and weasel his way out as well, but just so you know he also sent me another e-mail last night that said, “You smell and I bet you pick your nose.”

But I just want you guys to know that people are watching. Watch out, Patrick and Kymm (and the rest of you know who you are…), I’ve got the Cranium guys on my side.

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in my defense

sorry so sloppy

Immm-hmmm. Well. Alright.

Dear Patrick,

It seems that there was a gathering of journallers who all got together to play Cranium because they had heard that I enjoyed the game. I understand that you were one of them. It also seems that you and your friends had an easy time with the game and quickly decided to rename the game in my honor. That would normally be flattering, but in this case the renaming was called “Pamie is really dumb.”

Oh, excuse me for a moment while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.

Oh no, those are tears of pain. My mistake.

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or what i did on my vacation

Well, I’m back. I hope everyone is doing well. The holidays are supposed to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but I’m just thinking about Al and his family, and am filled with even more thoughts about how thankful I am to have my family with me.

I awoke this morning to the sound of both a crash and a splash. I ran to the bathroom and found a very wet and frightened Cal jumping out of the tub. The drain isn’t working so well, so Cal got to bathe in Eric’s bath water. As I chased Cal with a towel to keep him from catching cold I thought to myself, “Well, my vacation is definitely over.”

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i can hear the holidays approaching

Let’s see, last night…. yoga, talk to my mom… oh, and about five hours of Resident Evil 3. That’s it. That’s all we’ve been doing. We bought it the night before we went out of town (which means we played the game pretty much until it was time to get on the plane Friday morning), and we’ve been playing it every night after work. Instead of discussing politics or music or religion, my evening conversations with Eric have been reduced to “I think if you mix Gun Powder A with Gun Powder B and then mix two of those together you get Magnum rounds. No, I don’t know why that’s not working. Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!”

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i got burned

so i’m typing really slowly

Ow.  Ow.  Ow.

I am covered in sunburn.  That’s what happens when you try and fit a whole summer in a weekend.  It was a great weekend.  I had a lot of fun.  But today I’m covered in Aloe, and keep a bottle of aloe/lidocane next to my arm because my shoulders and chest keep screaming whenever I lean over to pick something up.

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like a fence

i’ve got so many links in here

So, some of you have moved over to my new page, and some of you are still pointing to geocities.  I guess it takes a few days for everyone all around the world to be shifted.  Those of you on the new page, please feel free to let me know what you think!

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oh yes, it’s games night

It is the perfect weather outside. I’m sitting here in my green sweater and my blue pajama bottoms. Eric is out looking for a new car to buy. Erykah Badu is blasting through my speakers. I got to sleep in this morning. Eric and I had breakfast together, that I made myself and actually turned out good… it’s just one of those good days.

Last night we all got together to play games, which hasn’t happened in a while because the new trend in our circle of friends is to play poker at night, and since I can’t (don’t, won’t, hate) poker I tend to not be there. Plus poker has brought even more people into our circle, so we haven’t had many evenings of just six of us sitting around playing a board game in a while.

So, it was nice to have our house be party central again. Continue reading