…and then this morning I Googled “master cleanse.”
ooooooohhhhhhhhh man, I am full of food. This year’s food-trip with Tara and Dave was shorter than the last time, but I managed to get an extraordinary amount of eating in. I started strong and ended strong, you guys. I had ice cream for dinner last night. Yes, that is bragging.
We did some antiquing (someone please send me these chairs), some drinking (heh, “some”), and some friend-gathering as we repeatedly hid from the oppressive heat. I recorded a podcast as the first female guest for a future episode of Totally Hungover, which may or may not end up being the last time they allow a female guest. There was officially too much Whataburger and not enough migas. Continue reading
EAT THROUGH AUSTIN, the final list: Continue reading
I wore a new sweater today, and it shed everywhere I went. I first wore it a couple of days ago, and I thought the little grey hairs on everything I owned were due to Taylor hanging out around my bag, which he does sometimes. But today I wore it all day and it was clear — the sweater was leaving pieces of me everywhere. Continue reading
I somehow got away with spending my entire yesterday in a bikini.
I somehow got away with spending my entire past week like I was still in high school.
Monday night I went to spend time with my oldest friend. I saw clips from the movie he wrote and directed. It’s the biggest thing he’s ever done, and it’s good to see him so proud of something.
We looked at his baby pictures, watching him get older and older, going through sad phases, grumpy phases, one unfortunate tryst with a mullet.
I turned the page and smiled.
“That’s the boy,” I said.
“Yeah, look how young I am.”
“I can’t believe we have known each other that long.”
“Look how good I look in this picture.”
“I know. That’s why I was a moron for you.” Continue reading
I wish I was watching all of my 21 Jump Street DVD episodes with Sars. Best moment of the pilot: when Johnny Depp gets really sad because he can’t stop thinking about his father, we watch him from outside his apartment window as he stares at a photograph of his father while soulfully playing the saxophone.
Oh, Jump Street. Loved you then, love you now. Can’t wait to get to the Brad Pitt episode. Continue reading
The morning after the wedding, we woke up and listened to this song in bed and thought about how happy we were and how perfectly the wedding went and how lucky we were to have these amazing friends and family who braved the rain and snow and winds and this strange waterfall that happens on our front steps when it pours outside. Continue reading
Overheard this weekend as I walked back to my table after finishing a heartfelt rendition of “A Natural Woman”:
I was talking about this with Dan last night, how I always enter the Karaoke joint thinking, “Tonight I’ll just play it cool. Sit back. Enjoy the show. There’s no need to act like a moron in front of all these people.” And then half an hour later I’m rolling on the floor, possibly touching my crotch.
“Oh, I know,” Dan said. “It’s how we met.”
This weekend I was going to “play it cool” and ended up onstage no less than six times. I touched strangers. A group of hipsters in 80’s gear danced in front of us so we couldn’t see the stage. I stole their hats and gave them to other people. And they let me. The last time I was at this particular establishment, the girl who couldn’t stop dancing like she was both Romy and Michele became the centerpiece of my rendition of Pearl Jam’s “Black.” I crawled between her legs and we got to at least first base.
A) Why do I do this?
B) Why do people continue to let me? Continue reading