fun with mom. (snippets from the cell phone)

[scripty]
PAMIE
Mom. Mom! Richard Grieco just walked into this coffeeshop.

MOM
Who? Oh. From 90210.

PAMIE
21 Jump Street.

MOM
Which one was he, again?

PAMIE
Booker. He’s the one who was not Johnny Depp. … Which I bet he hears all the time, including in his nightmares. He had the spin-off, remember? Booker?

MOM
I don’t think I watched that show.

PAMIE
Oh, you know who would have loved this? Dad. Remember he used to always tease me for watching that show. Well, I don’t know if he was teasing, or if he really just liked saying Booker over and over again in that weird voice.

MOM
Yeah, I didn’t watch it. I don’t like Shatner.

PAMIE
… No, Mom, that’s… that’s TJ Hooker.

MOM
Well, what did you say?

PAMIE
I said Booker.

MOM
What?

PAMIE
Booker.

MOM
Why are you saying it like that?

PAMIE
Because he’s standing right next to me! I’m trying to be quiet!

MOM
I can’t stand Shatner.

PAMIE
Not TJ Hooker, Ma. Booker.

MOM
I remember now. I didn’t watch that show, either.

PAMIE
No, you didn’t. Anyway, that dude’s standing right next to me.

MOM
I just don’t know why anybody likes Shatner.
[/scripty]

Scenes from my birthday party

I wish I was watching all of my 21 Jump Street DVD episodes with Sars. Best moment of the pilot: when Johnny Depp gets really sad because he can’t stop thinking about his father, we watch him from outside his apartment window as he stares at a photograph of his father while soulfully playing the saxophone.

Oh, Jump Street. Loved you then, love you now. Can’t wait to get to the Brad Pitt episode. Continue reading

Slob

i’m a big not moving sack of worthlessness

This new Springer cam depresses the hell out of me. I miss when Jerry Springer was fun to watch. That was like, four years ago, I know. I know that. I can hold onto a dream like no one else. For real.

My David Blaine recap is up on Mighty Big TV.

Today I sat around, wrote some holiday cards, sat around, watch Swingers and then sat around on my bed for like, hours. I just feel incredibly lazy. Not even lazy. Tired. I’m tired. This is the first day in I don’t know how long that I didn’t have a deadline or a plan or something I had to get finished or go out and do. I just sat here. Yeah, I need to get that Santa project finished up and there are more cards to send, but really I can wait on all of those things until tomorrow. When my head is clear.

Oh, man. Jerry Springer is now very very depressing.

Continue reading