Song: “Are You Gonna Dance (With Me)?”

I’m probably not cool enough to like Tralala.

That girl likes Sleater-Kinney, late-night pizza, imaginary pillow fights with celebrity friends, sleeping in her make-up, and telling someone to “Keep the Change.” She’s in a shiny red convertible (checkered scarf tied around her neck) as she flips off the cop to her left and he goes into the patented sunglasses pull/mouth drop from the eighties. She doesn’t just wish she knew how to surf, she has a board, the one her ex-boyfriend doesn’t know she stole from him. She laughs at the following: people tripping up stairs, her brother’s hard-ons, dogs getting lost under bath towels, people who correct her spelling. She only owns one bra and she only puts it on if she’s going to a wedding.

I, um…. I like Sleater-Kinney. As for the rest of the list, I’ll just have to fake it.