Beyonce Knowles: Dangerously In Love

Song: “Crazy In Love

Years. It took years to get this song out of my head, and now it’s all ruined.

In discussing this song, someone else already said it best:

“There’s a new song on Top 40 radio right now that’s so good I want to kill myself. I’m not sure why exceptionally good hip-hop singles make me want to commit suicide, but they often do. I don’t know what the title of this song is, but it’s that religious woman with the perfect stomach from Destiny’s Child and Jay-Z doing a duet featuring a horn riff from the ’70s that I’ve never heard before (but that sounds completely familiar), and the chorus is something along the lines of, “Your love is driving me crazy right now/ I’m kind of hoping you’ll page me right now.” It’s also possible that Jay-Z compares himself to Golden State Warriors guard Nick Van Exel during the last verse, but I can’t be positive.ANYWAY, by the time you read this sentence, the song I am referring to will be ten thousand years old. You will have heard it approximately 15,000 times, and you might hate it, and I might hate it, too. But right now — today — I am living for this song. As far as I’m concerned, there is nothing that matters as much as hearing it on the radio; I am interested in nothing beyond Beyonce Knowles’ voice. All I do is scan the FM dial for hours at at time, trying to find it.”- Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself To Live

And if you’ve recently purchased Karaoke Revolution 4, then you know that this song once again lives inside your brain on constant loop.

The first time I heard it, I thought it was so noisy. I turned into an old lady, complaining that there were “too many words” going on for me to know what was happening. I couldn’t keep up. stee loved it, and insisted that it was “the best fucking song of all time.” And I could tell he wasn’t exactly kidding.

And then. I don’t know if it was repetition, the fact that everybody was completely swept up in this song in a way we wouldn’t see again until “Hey Ya,” or the fact that Beyonce’s voice just makes me want to sing and swing a fist in the air (which I was soon doing. while driving.), I fell in love with “Crazy In Love.” I remember one evening when I wasn’t at Journalcon, I think, and everybody else was, singing in Austin, calling me to mock the fact that I wasn’t singing at Club Deville with everybody else, and… I just remember this sad moment when I was pretending I was singing Karaoke with Beyonce, because… her song? was playing in my car? I don’t know. Not my finest hour. It made sense at the time, and I think I thought it was funny back then. But now… that’s really embarrassing. Why do I feel like AB was with me? That’s not possible, is it?

So this song is back in my life, the lyrics and the beat getting into my head, into my pulse, when I’m trying to sleep, when I’m trying to read, when I’m trying to write, when I’m trying to listen to other music. My head bops to the uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, oh-no-no uncontrollably, even when nobody else can hear the song. It’s horrible. It’s torture. It’s still an awesome song.

And I waited long enough to post this clip, which if you can do me a favor, don’t look at Sara while it’s going on, because she’s all embarrassed about it. Karaoke Revolution 4 comes with a dance mat option. Now. We are all horrible at the dance mat. And by that I mean “stee is awesome in ways we can’t understand because his feet are bigger than the squares he’s supposed to hit, and we don’t understand why he can dance on this thing like a small boy trained in acrobatics, but the rest of us lumber through the ‘easy’ mode, hoping we don’t look like total tools, knowing full well that we do.”

For some reason people think they need to dance while they sing, as if the singing part doesn’t already take all of the fun and joy out of singing the song because you have to turn into a robot.

So when you watch this clip, please look for the following:

1. Dan’s comment right when it begins. The backstory is that sara wanted to break in the dance mode doing “Crazy In Love” on “Expert” dance mode. Basically performing the impossible. Stee said, “No. Don’t turn our game into a bit.” But sara knew it would be a spectacle of arrows and lights and lines to follow. She was right. But so was stee.

1a. Notice sara’s feet never come anywhere near the squares she’s supposed to be dancing on. But don’t look at her. She doesn’t want you to look at her.

2. At second twelve, when stee turns on the lights, please note that dan and i are hiding behind the couch, and soon falling… onto the couch.

3. The camera then turns to the television, where you can see… the character sara has created for herself. she has the baddest mama-jama in karaoke revolution. you don’t want to mess with her. and when she wins, the world knows it.

4. sidenote: it’s probably close to one in the morning when we’re doing this.

5. please note adam just casually staring at sara, as if this is perfectly normal.

6. At one point I laugh so hard it sounds like I’m vomiting.

7. My favorite is sara singing while reading the dance moves she’s supposed to make, because at one point she gets overwhelmed and sings, “Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh…whoa.”

Sara needs some validation, so let me tell you:stee & sara VS dan and pam: Hoobastank’s “The Reason” — winner: STEE AND SARA

(this is a huge coup, and they will never let us forget it)

stee & sara VS dan and pam: Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” — winner: DAN AND PAM (with a perfect score)

stee & sara VS dan and pam: Men At Work’s “Who Can It Be Now?” — winner: STEE AND SARA

stee & sara VS dan and pam: Tears for Fears’ “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” — winner: DAN AND PAM

and… sadly:

stee & dan VS pam and sara: Beyonce and Jay-Z: “Crazy In Love” — winner: DAN AND STEE

This is because sara and pam sang it with joy and love and a genuine passion for the song. Dan admittedly didn’t know a single word. He’s very good at following the little green bar as he sings.

So “Crazy In Love” lives in my head once again. But maybe it’ll get me through these next few days when I’ve got no car and lots of work to do.