Beastie Boys: Paul’s Boutique

Song: “B-Boy Bouillabaisse

Aw, iPod. You knew I was in a crap mood this morning, and your first song is a little love song to me. Thank you.

There isn’t a foul mood that can’t be cured with a little Paul’s Boutique. And when I hit play, my iPod launched right into the album’s longest track. Like a little B-Boy hug from my main homey.


Eric and I used to use this album to survive nightmare events. Say we’re stuck at an uncomfortable dinner party, or trapped at a bar with drunk friends. One would turn to the other and say, “I shed light like cats shed fur.” The other would then respond, “Ride around town like a Raymond Burr.” Back and forth, until we were freed from whatever hell we were in. I just remembered that. We were both very good at the Paul’s Boutique game.

stee just dropped me off at work, outside the lot gate, because you can’t get on the lot without id’s. As I pulled my bag over my shoulder, gripped my purse and shuffled the Tupperware of cookies in my arms, I had a crazy, nausea-inducing flashback to when I’d get dropped off at a new school. It was a combination of the Tupperware in my arms and the smell of the car exhaust all around me. I was walking to school and I was the new kid and nobody brings Tupperware to lunch and everybody’s going to hate me.”I hope you don’t get cancelled,” stee said as I shut the door, the grown-up version of “Good luck on that test.”

The Karma Breakfast Cookies (TM) stee made pre-car theft, way, way back on Saturday when all we had to worry about was whether we had enough cookies for our Karaoke Revolution party. Ah, simpler times.

I left directions in the break room for everybody to eat a Karma Breakfast Cookie with his or her morning coffee, thinking horrible thoughts about the bad guys who took stee’s car, until our combined mental negativity brings that car back home.

Aw, see? I just busted a little groove in my chair right now, the song taking over. I even grinned. This album is magic.

It’s possible that the Karma Breakfast Cookie/Coffee combo just kicked in a little, too. Can’t feel guilty about the calories when you’re walking to work, right?