Sara Nelson explains why she didn’t have a book tour, causing Jennifer Weiner to stick up for the practice. Based on my own experiences, I’d tour a book all over the country if someone would let me. But I didn’t have a dime when this book came out, and was already into Save Karyn territory on my credit cards, so finding out what Cleveland looks like was not a possibility. My book tour was very similar to Sara’s:

I was going on a tour-lette, to just a couple of places where I actually had some friends and thus could beat the drum and send mass e-mails and call in old favors to get people to show up—and oh, by the way, this was not necessarily an all-expenses-paid-by-the-publisher boondoggle, but rather a cobbled-together financial plan involving my publisher, the venues that were hosting me, my day job and my very own bank account.

When I sold the book, it was the first question everyone asked me — “Are you going to have a book tour?” They also assume it’s out in hardcover, that I went to a fancy school, that I always use flawless grammar, and that I now can afford anything my heart desires. If there’s one thing I promise to do with this site, it’s to disappoint you repeatedly as I shatter your hopes and dreams of the life as a published author.

Consider it your “Life in Hollywood” Extension Course.

My dream guest spot as an author? The Daily Show.