All great things must come to an end. And so it goes for Blaine Watch. Thanks to Couch Baron for being such a great eyewitness. Here he tells the story of Blaine’s release, and he gets all emotional doing it.

And thanks to David’s boredom, soon you can read the book:

The first was the backache. The pad is only one inch thick – so when I lie down… my back is in continual pain which started on day two. Also when it gets cold this pad gets really hard so that’s another crazy discomfort.

Number two is sharp shooting pains in my muscles … I can’t stretch arms or legs out ‘cos of these killing pains. Next – always cold at night – the walls are thin. The lights do nothing to provide heat. The two small, round heaters didn’t last – if I put my hands right against them I can feel that … In the day, the sun bakes. Number four. Headache. Number five. Strobe light effect in eyes. Number six. My heart is beating really fast, then slows down and stops – it’s irregular.

My mouth is always dry, which reminds me to drink which is good, and it tastes like sulphur – which almost tastes like shit. For the first days it tasted sweet ‘cos my body was breaking down sugars into glucose.

Dust balls all over everything – they even get in my nose and throat. When I stand up everything goes black and sometimes my hearing goes out. When I concentrate on something too much it hurts in my head. Fantasies about food – don’t usually hurt but once in a while I crave it. ‘Cos of the taste in my mouth the water is often disgusting to drink.’

FUN. STUFF.