pamie finds bizarro dan

Hi, Pamie!
First of all, I love your writing. I’m sure you hear that a lot, but who
doesn’t like to hear it as often as possible? I don’t know if you’re still answering pop culture questions, but I figured I’d give it a shot anyway. I’m currently going through an 80’s & early-90’s kid sitcom phase (conclusion: “Clarissa Explains It All” is still good, “Saved by the Bell” is so bad it’s almost magical) and I realized I have these giant gaps.

What in the world is “Blossom”? I asked my sister about it and she just started ranting about Joey Lawrence, and I was all, “ohhh, right, Joey Lawrence”. And then I realized I thought she meant Joey McIntyre. So what’s the deal with Joey Lawrence and/or “Blossom”?

While we’re on the subject, I know nothing whatsoever about “Punky Brewster”. Any help and information would be much appreciated. Thank you muchly, and if you can recommend anything else, I’d be thrilled.

Again, you rock. Because it just can’t be said enough.

Sincerely (I never sign e-mails..what should I use? “Cordially”? I thought “Love” was kind of personal),
dan

Ai ya. Clarissa is good? Where to begin from there?

Blossom.
More Blossom.
Joey Lawrence.
More Joey Lawrence.

Your confusion must be in their trademark sound effect. Joey L: “Woah!” Joey M: “Oh-oh-OH-OH-oh!” Although Joey L does fancy himself a musician, nothing he’s done is going to land him on Boston Public or Boomtown. Back, back, back in the day, JL was on a little show called Gimme a Break. But my favorite thing Joey did was sing the theme song for “My Buddy,” a commercial featuring a pre-Chucky doll who towered over small children. “My buddy and me, like to climb up a tree. My buddy and me, we’re the BEST friends there could be!”

(That’s the place in my brain that might have cured cancer, except I put baby Joey singing a doll song in there instead. Wonderful.)

Oh, man. You don’t know anything about Punky Brewster? That’s just sad, oppoDan. Sincerely sad. Cordially sad.

In addition to having one of the best theme songs of my childhood, Punky was the coolest girl my sister and I had ever seen. We wanted to be Punky. (to be honest, my sister wanted to be Brandon, Punky’s dog). Yay, Punky Brewster. You must not be watching too many of those kids shows, because Soleil is all growns up (post boob job) and was on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Punky (real name: Penelope) was an orphan who often reminded us that her mother abandoned her and left her for dead (blink your eyes reallllly hard and say “She went into the store…” Then blink again and again and again, like you really want to cry. Then finish: “and she never came back.” My sister and I were always worried after that when Mom left us in the car to run in to get some eggs.). Punky snuck out of her foster care center (because she couldn’t keep the dog, I think) and hid in the closet of loveable curmudgeon Henry, who for some reason was allowed to keep Punky, who was friends with Cherie (pronounced “Cherry”), who lived in the building and had a mother who helped Henry learn how to take care of a little girl and her dog. Foster care antics, a brat named Margeaux, and the first time we ever learned why you shouldn’t crawl into an abandoned refrigerator on the street ensued. Then there was a crap animated series that featured an annoying creature named Glomer, but we’re going to ignore that. (Check out this trivia site for some weird Punky facts.)