No Labor

that’s the plan, anyway

Late update today. Sorry.

Kicking off Labor Day weekend a bit early, which is nice.

So, it’s been 104-106 around here every day, which is unacceptable, if you ask me. It causes me to shed.

I have long hair. That already means that I lose long individual hairs all day long and I leave pieces of me everywhere I go. But when the heat is this bad and I run my fingers through my hair, it looks like I’m balding.

In case you don’t have a long-hair in your life, but you’re thinking about getting one, let me tell you what you’re in for:

  • You will find hair in your car. In the back seat, the front seat, the dash, the arms, and the back shelf that you can never really clean.
  • You will get long hair wrapped around your toes if you dare to walk barefoot across the living room.
  • You will get long hair wrapped around your brush, even if your long-hair never touched that brush.
  • Your sink/tub/shower will periodically be clogged with giant wet hairmonsters.
  • You’ll find hair on any piece of Velcro or felt you own. Don’t bother with the sweaters. They’re ruined before you get them home.
  • You will find long hairs inside the crack of your ass. You cannot stop this phenomenon. It happens when you’re asleep. It’s okay. Just know that it happens to the long-hairs whenever they brush their hair, take a shower, or change their clothing. You just have to deal with the occasional “What the hell?” We’ve got this shit daily.

We leave in the morning for Eric’s college buddy reunion. I haven’t met any of these people before. More importantly, they haven’t met me. They all knew Eric long before I ever came around. I’m sure they’re curious as to what girl finally got “the heartbreaker.” That’s if you hear him and his friends talk. In any event, I’m slightly nervous, but mostly just happy to have a weekend where I have no obligations and no real responsibilities. Just hanging out, reading, writing, and — if it’s not raining — sitting in the sun.

But part of me really wants to go with a British accent and a blackened tooth, just to see how civil they’d be to me for being Eric’s girlfriend.

Reeeeeeally wants to do it.

I shouldn’t, though.

But I want to.

Ooh.

No, I won’t.

Maybe.

Shed a tear. The last Young Americans recap is running at Mighty Big TV.

You want more Vegas stories? You got more Vegas stories. See what Tara and Kim had to say. Kim even has pictures! I love that Tara called my mom “incredibly patient.” You’d think after twenty-five years of me, she’d learn that by now.

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