deja blew

time:  two nights ago

place:  our apartment, playing cribbage

cast:  eric, pamie, taylor

[scripty]
ERIC
Oh, man.  I can’t believe I got these cards again.  I got the exact same cards.  It’s like deja vu.

PAMIE
I got very similar cards, too.  Only with me it’s more like deja poo.

ERIC
You’ve seen this shit before?

PAMIE
You got it.

ERIC
What about deja new?

PAMIE
Never seen these cards before?

ERIC
Uh-huh.

PAMIE
Yeah.  That’s funny.  What about deja kajagoogoo?

ERIC
What?

PAMIE
I’ve heard this song before.

ERIC
Deja emu?  I’ve seen this bird before?

PAMIE
Deja moo.

ERIC
You’ve seen that cow before?

PAMIE
Well, I can’t tell cows apart.

ERIC
Good point.

PAMIE
Deja View– I’ve seen this daytime talk show before.

ERIC
Deja googoo?

PAMIE
I just did that one.

ERIC
No, I’ve heard this band before.  I was talking about the Goo Goo Dolls.

PAMIE
I like it.

ERIC
Deja Mew– I’ve heard that cat before.

TAYLOR
Meh.

PAMIE
Look how he’s sitting.  How cute is that?

ERIC
That has to hurt.  He’s all sitting on his butt with his legs spread.

PAMIE
No, he’s using his paws behind him to hold him up, see?

ERIC
That’s so funny.

PAMIE
I think I have one picture left.

ERIC
Hurry!

PAMIE
Okay, Taylor, ready?  One, two, three!  Got it!

TAYLOR
Jesus Christ, people?  What the fuck are you doing?  What was that bright light?  Did I do something wrong?  I was merely showing off my nice kitty belly from all of my food that I’ve been getting since I failed your silly doctor test.

PAMIE
Sorry, Taylor.

ERIC
Deja Crue?

PAMIE
What?

ERIC
I’ve heard this 80’s band before.

PAMIE
Deja poo.

ERIC AND PAMIE
I’ve seen this food before.

ERIC
I was right with you.

PAMIE
I know, baby.

ERIC
Nothing wrong with a little scatological humor now and then.

PAMIE
Of course not.

ERIC
Deja Clue?

PAMIE
I’ve played this game before.

ERIC
Yeah.

PAMIE
Deja Hue.

ERIC
You’ve worn that color before.

PAMIE
I think it would work when you’re describing a woman who dyes her grey hair.

ERIC
Nice.

PAMIE
Deja you.

ERIC
I’ve seen you before?

PAMIE
Describes a stalker.

ERIC
Ha.

PAMIE
Deja…

ERIC
Deja…

PAMIE
Deja…

TAYLOR
Shut the fuck up.

ERIC
Deja…

PAMIE
Deja… Loo?  I’ve used that bathroom before?

ERIC
Not really very funny.

PAMIE
I know.  I’m running out.

ERIC
Yeah.  Are you going to play your cards?

PAMIE
Sorry.  Here.  Ten.

ERIC
Fifteen for two.

PAMIE
Twenty one.

ERIC
Twenty seven for two.

PAMIE
Go.

ERIC
And thirty-one for two.

PAMIE
Deja screw.

ERIC
I’ve beaten you in this game before?

PAMIE
You got it.

ERIC
Wanna play again?

PAMIE
Only if I get to throw a deja coup.

ERIC
Can we stop with this?

PAMIE
Deja through?

ERIC
Yes.

PAMIE
Deja blue.

ERIC
Sweetie?

PAMIE
Deja who?

ERIC
Let’s stop, okay?

PAMIE
Deja new?

ERIC
I don’t want to play again anymore.

PAMIE
Deja glue.

ERIC
I don’t know what that means.

PAMIE
You’re stuck up.

ERIC
That’s it.  I’m watching Homicide.

PAMIE
Oh, I’ll stop.  I’m sorry.

ERIC
Yeah?

PAMIE
Yeah.  Don’t watch t.v.  Let’s just play.

ERIC
Okay.

PAMIE
It’s my crib first.

ERIC
Ten.

PAMIE
Fifteen for two.

ERIC
Twenty for two.

PAMIE
Deja two.

ERIC
Sweetheart–

PAMIE
I’m sorry.  Really.  Sorry.  Just slipped out.  Didn’t mean it.

ERIC
I’m serious.

PAMIE
It was just a deja boo boo.

ERIC
I’m going to bed.

PAMIE
No, come on.  Really.   Don’t be such a baby.

ERIC
I’m not being a baby.

PAMIE
You are.  You’re being a big baby with the deja croup.

(PAUSE)

ERIC
How long have you been waiting to bust that one out?

PAMIE
A long time.

ERIC
Yeah, I could tell.  You had to work to get it there.

PAMIE
You like it?

ERIC
I like you.

PAMIE
You tired?

ERIC
Yeah.

PAMIE
Yeah, me too.  Let’s go to sleep.

ERIC
Okay.

TAYLOR
You’re both deja cuckoo.

ERIC
Don’t you start.

TAYLOR
Ih.  Someone’s all deja ew.

PAMIE
High-five, Taylor.

TAYLOR
Don’t worry, guys, I’ll lock the door and turn off the lights.

(PAUSE.  All three look at each other.  They burst into laughter.)

TAYLOR
Eh?  That was pretty good, eh?

ERIC
Yeah, it was, Taylor.

TAYLOR
Could you just see me with my little fuzzy paws and my lack of opposable thumbs working on that chain lock?

PAMIE
Or the deadbolt?

ERIC
And you’d have to hover in the air or levitate because you can’t reach.

TAYLOR
And then I’d be locking the door with my paw!  Heh!  Ha!  Haaaah!  Weeeee!  Ah-HA HA HA HA!  HOOOO!  WOWZA!

PAMIE
It’s not that funny, Taylor.

TAYLOR
No?

ERIC
No.

TAYLOR
Oh.

PAMIE
Yeah.

ERIC
Sorry.

TAYLOR
Hm.  I’m hungry.

PAMIE AND ERIC
Goodnight, Taylor.

TAYLOR
Hold up, I’m coming.
[/scripty]

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