last night’s a little crazy

Wow, it’s early in the morning. I am not usually up at this time, much less at work. I had to get up at six this morning to make it to work on time because I have that shooting this afternoon… it feels very unnatural for me to be at my desk when the sun is not yet up…

By yesterday afternoon I was getting a bit of cabin fever, and I was afraid that I was starting to smell. We all had a small chicken pox scare the night before when in the midst of my fever and cough and achiness I noticed a few red bumps on my knee and my hips and my face…

They looked more like insect bites than chicken pox, but I’m a hypochondriac, so I was sure that I was getting a relapse of some sort (from when I was seven) and was about to fumigate my house… but I think that I was just bitten by something in my sleep.

Like I was saying, I had pretty bad cabin fever, so I decided to go to rehearsal. Big mistake. My flu combined with our no-heat-concrete-floor building made me rather miserable after I was there for four hours. I drove home with my back screaming in pain, my head stuffed up, and I was terribly dizzy. I grabbed myself dinner and limped home. I tried to eat, downed a cupful of Nyquil, and promptly passed out on the couch.

I remember a few things about last night, since Eric was up for most of it. We had slept until one in the afternoon yesterday, and he couldn’t believe that I had cashed out nine hours after we had woken up, and I think that’s when he realized that I was indeed truly sick (although he did bring home my favorite food on Saturday to try and perk me up). I remember him rubbing my back, and sort of petting my leg while he watched television. I remember him trying to make me go back into the bedroom and get some real sleep instead of curling around his body (and probably hogging the couch). But when I’m sick I like to have some sort of company, so I’m sure I mumbled something about being too tired to move. I was really comfortable lying on the couch listening to him play his spy game… oh yeah, the spy game. He’s beaten it, but he re-rented it for another week to… beat it again, I guess.

I remember having really strange dreams and I kept waking up every half hour or so. I haven’t gone to sleep at ten p.m. since I was about nine, so it was really strange to wake up after a couple of hours and it only be, like one in the morning… My perception of time was really, really off. I just kept waking up, checking on Eric, checking on the cats, and then falling back asleep. Somehow my brain thought that I wasn’t doing my job or something, and every time I woke up I was sure that something was wrong.

So I’m tired today, and I don’t feel completely better. I feel better than yesterday, but who wouldn’t after as much sleep as I had? It hurts to move my eyes in that migraney sort of way, so I asked to take a floating holiday tomorrow (which are normally reserved for birthdays and such, but I just want to give myself another morning full of sleep). This flu is going around hard– there’s a lot of people out.

How boring. All I’ve been talking about lately are my germs.

My parents think I’m working too hard, and my body is trying to protest… If it paid more to be an actor, then I guess I wouldn’t have to do all of this stuff… but someone’s gotta pay those student loans, right?

My Christmas time panic has officially started. I never know what to get anyone. I’m just not the best at giving gifts. I mean well, and often I think that I have found the perfect gift, only to find that they either already have it or can’t stand it. I mean it, if I could give the world a giant gift certificate and it was considered the most intimate gift you could give, my life would be much, much easier.

As it is now, I have to subtly ask people what they would like and stuff… and it always comes out wrong.

“I mean, if you were going to get yourself a present, but you didn’t want to spend money on something like that just for yourself, what would it be?”