Tonight: Trapped in the Closet, Live at M Bar

Dear friends, the best goodbyes are in the Closet!

What can truly be said for R. Kelly’s operatic masterpiece, Trapped in the Closet? Nightmare? Genius? Stanky spewey epic? Come see the original 12 chapters performed live by Brently & friends.

This show originally premiered in LA and has traveled to NYC and back, gathering attention in the NY Times, Village Voice, LA Times, LA Weekly, CityBeat, and mo mo mo.

Join us for one special night, Friday Nov 6th at Midnight. Sing along if you can, or just come and toast the bard of the 21st century, R. Kelly.

Then, a week later, Mr. Brently relocates to Austin to start a new life as young Kinky Friedman.

So come say ta ta for now! It’s been All Things Delicious!

Trapped–LIVE by R. Kelly
performed by Brently w/ Pamela Ribon, Katey Mushlin, Jenn Bass, Jessy Schwartz, Rebecca Davis, Robertson, Chris Chauncey, Mitch Baker, Alexx Staggs, Dustin Fasching, James Leroy Brown III, Paul Feldman, Sugar Shane Laser, Jason Allen and YOU!

11/6/09 at 12:00
$10 at the door

facebook info

http://www.brentlyonline.com
Keeping All Things Delicious since 1976

rufus–CHUCK.

This morning, in the shower, where I get a lot of important thinking done, I thought to myself: “Well, if James the cop knows Chuck and Rufus, I’m surprised he didn’t say anything to Gwendolyn when they were in the back of Parjay’s together, and spotted Sylvester enter with Cathy. Unless her crusty Mary wig is really that good and he didn’t recognize her, or if, in fact, he only knows Chuck and Rufus as a couple, and didn’t know that Rufus was married.”

And then I immediately checked myself into a psych ward, which is where I live now.

updating without a story, just facts

This is an entry purely because you have been emailing frequently (and wonderfully, thank you) to inquire about Taylor and other things that have been going on.

Taylor is sacked out next to me looking quite happy. We won’t test him again for another month — the vet wants to see if the DM special diet fixes him, which apparently can reverse the effects of diabetes and make him completely better. All the cats like to eat the DM, so we give the other two tiny bits. Never before has it been so clear that Taylor is the alpha cat than watching the way the other two cats let Taylor browse each bowl, eating whatever his little heart wants. Read more

I Guess That’s How The Kids Are Talking These Days.

“The first rule is, you can’t cut a single word,” Heilbron says of the 42-minute sordid suite, which he decided to stage after receiving a DVD copy last Christmas. “I knew I had to learn it, I knew I had to make it better,” he says with that particularly modern mix of sarcasm and sincerity.

A little Brently, pimping the show, up in here.

Why My Brain Is Mad At Me

I used to think knowing all the words to “It’s The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” was an interesting fun fact/party trick. But now that I know more than four full chapters of “Trapped In the Closet,” I kind of want to kill myself. But it’s all in the name of PFLAG. Read more

Dear R Kelly…

You might be aware of how your fans feel about your recent work, but I bet you rarely get the chance to see people watch your brilliant Trapped In the Closet series.

So I present to you: the moment just after the last word in Chapter Nine: Read more

a conversation with chito.

[scripty]
PAMIE
Hello?

CHITO
Aw, shit, Pam. How’s it goin’, girl?

PAMIE
Good. What’s up?

CHITO
I am watching… have you seen R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet?”

PAMIE
No.

CHITO
Are you watching VH-1 right now?

PAMIE
No, not presently.

CHITO
I am. You have to turn it on.

PAMIE
Let me tell you something about time zones.

CHITO
Okay, well, whatever is right now central time, you need to be watching your time, because this shit is awesome. Five part R. Kelly — all five videos for “Trapped in the Closet.”

PAMIE
Five?

CHITO
Five. You think it’ll just be one, and then… there are four more. It’s great!

PAMIE
I…

CHITO
And this is like, he’s serious. He really thinks this is music. He says “door” just like in “I Believe I Can Fly.”

PAMIE
I don’t know what that means.

CHITO
R. Kelly is having a fight with some woman right now.

PAMIE
I thought he was trapped in a closet. Is it like “Blue Velvet?”

CHITO
Okay. Say you wake up in the morning, and you have to go to the store. That’s an R. Kelly song. Right there. “I woke up, I put on some socks, and got into my car because I had to go to the SAAAAAafewaaaay!”

PAMIE
Uh-huh.

CHITO
“I had to buy some asparrrrrraguuuuus! It was on saaaaaaAAAaaale!”

PAMIE
I get it.

CHITO
Oh, he’s having an argument with a lady. Oh, this is the funniest shit. You have to watch this. Turn it on right now.

PAMIE
It’s not on right now.

CHITO
I wish it was! Oh! I don’t want to ruin this for you. You have to just watch it.

PAMIE
Okay, TiVo says it’s on at 12:30. It just says “Special.”

CHITO
God, it is really special. And listen, when you watch it? Don’t delete it. Because you’re going to want to watch this like, many times to get its full impact. Oh! R. Kelly just got a ticket.

PAMIE
“I got a speeeeding ticket. And now I’ll have to go to defeeeensive driiiiving! Maybe at Comedy Schooool!”

CHITO
You got it, girl. You can now write the collective works of R. Kelly.

PAMIE
Never had one lesson!

CHITO
“My last speeding ticket still hasn’t been resolved, so now my ride might be taken under posEEEESsssioon!”

PAMIE
“And my last ticket was a load of crap because it said I did a rolling stop when really I was just LAAAATE for a MEEEEEting!”

CHITO
I’ve already successfully converted several daily events until successful versions of this song. “Today I woke up my daughters, and then I toooook a shiiiiit! Had to wiiiipe my assssss!”

PAMIE
This is how R. Kelly got in trouble in the first place.

CHITO
Pam! Turn this on!

PAMIE
I’ve set the TiVo! And now TiVo is going to think I like R. Kelly. And it will one day be used in a court of law as evidence against me.

CHITO
I’m going to have to stay up so late tonight to watch this shit, and I do not care. Oh, God, R. Kelly. Thank you for this masterpiece. I have a court case in the morning, and I have to represent this drive-by, and I do not care. Oh, this is amazing. I don’t want to spoil it for you. How late do you stay up?

PAMIE
Pretty late.

CHITO
Oh, he just — I… oh, man. Oh, man! R. Kelly. He really thinks this is good! This is incredible. I had to make sure you saw this.

PAMIE
I appreciate you thinking of me.

CHITO
You know I had to call you.

PAMIE
Well, thank you. Because I didn’t have a blog entry for today. And thanks for giving me something to look forward to tonight.

CHITO
Oh, I have to hang up. I… R. Kelly, man. This is… Bye.

[PAMIE hangs up. Three minutes later, a text message from Chito arrives: OMG IT IS UNRELENTING.]
[/scripty]