Song: “Classic Girl”
Dear High School Me:
The weather is cold and raining, and not unlike the air around you the first time you ever stole one of Mom’s Marlboro Reds because you wanted to see if it felt “cooler” to smoke in the rain, as you were waiting for Keith Randolph to pick you up in his Jeep on the way to school. He overcharged you five bucks a week for the pleasure, but anything was better than getting stuck with those faux-Nazi poseur bullies on the back of the schoolbus. Read more
So we hosted a small party last night, mostly comprised of people we’ve never met before. Five minutes after the first group of guests arrived, I was bleeding into the kitchen sink.
This was not one of my better parties. Well, I can’t speak for the people who attended, but I wish I could send apology notes to them. I guess that’s what I’m doing here, since many of them seemed familiar with this website. Read more
too many planes
So, I think the secret is out: I was out of town this weekend. Since Matt had won the stand-up finals here in Austin he was getting to perform at the Los Angeles Finals at the Improv last Saturday night and we wanted to go out and support him. We decided to make a long weekend out of it and stop in San Francisco Friday and see Bill, eleanor, and a couple of friends of mine who had moved out there recently.
you hate me, don’t you?
I had a dream that I was at a really bad disco concert. I wanted to leave, but for some reason I just stayed put, watching boring song after boring song.
I woke up an hour late, my alarm clock playing the disco station. Apparently I was having that dream for a while.
you might not want to look
I’m going to Aspen.
why eric can no longer tease me
The show went really well. People laughed in all the right spots, and I think they laughed more than the cast thought they would. I like looking in at the actors’ faces the second that thought comes over them like, “Wait a minute! Pam’s right! They really do think this is funny!” Then the actors don’t know whether to keep barreling through like they’ve been doing or take their time and find out what the audience likes. Five minutes into the play the actors had found their groove and things went much more smoothly. We find out tomorrow evening if we get to perform again on Saturday. It’s a tough week. Lots of talent. It’ll be a tough call.
and the madness in my head
So, I’m at home. And I’m not allowed to talk. Whenever I do talk, you can only hear a little whisper coming out of me. I feel like the Godfather. Everyone has to lean in to hear me. I’m tired of it, though. I miss my voice. I miss talking to the cats. I miss singing. I miss laughing.It’s interesting, because for you guys, there’s nothing different. My voice hasn’t changed at all. Here, in my head, though, these words are sounding all raspy and funny, because that’s how I’ve sounded for days. Apparently this is all caused by allergies. I’m on some medicine now that is supposed to stop all this sinus drainage that has made my vocal cords swell. Apparently they are so swollen that they aren’t able to vibrate against each other, thus making it impossible for me to talk. I tell you, it’s maddening. I can’t get into any conversation because they don’t hear me try to talk. The smell of cigarettes is making my throat constrict. Whenever I do try to speak I keep having to repeat myself so someone can understand me. And the worst part of it all?
has Vincent Gallo for a tour guide
Can you believe it? I neither killed nor was killed yesterday. And I think there were a few moments there last night were Eric and I were seriously reconsidering the fact that we only have one couch, and one bed.
or, how i won five dollars and changed my life
I saw Chicago yesterday. Keep in mind I’ve been waiting to see this musical for twenty years, and in my head it is a very lavish and incredible piece of theatre. Somehow it got a bit lost in the translation. I love the first act so much, there was no way they would have been able to do it as well as I wanted. I want people who sound just like Gwen and Chita. Plus this is a touring company, so they have to have actors who can sing and dance and act and– oh yeah– don’t mind being on the road constantly.
That’s a smaller group of people to choose from.