in celebration of hot nerdy boys.

[scripty]
PAMIE
How was the rest of your weekend?

DANA
Good. I just… I’m so frustrated, because I’m having to do all these graphs for this class, and I don’t understand some of this computer shit. I mean, I’m very smart. Obviously. But then like, I don’t have to know Excel for any part of my life, so I don’t know it, and now I’m supposed to make a graph?

PAMIE
Well, I know some people who could probably help you learn to graph that.

DANA
You mean you don’t?

PAMIE
… I could figure it out.

DANA
Well, I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday and I told him I was just so angry because everything I didn’t know about computers was looking at me in the face and I didn’t know what to do. And then he goes, “Okay, well, tell me this, and tell me this and go to this place here and read me that,” and then Pamie, oh my god.

PAMIE
He was in your computer.

DANA
He was IN MY COMPUTER. He was controlling my mouse! I was just watching him and he was… he was inside me.

PAMIE
It’s really hot.

DANA
Pamie, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m not even kidding. Don’t make fun of me.

PAMIE
No, it’s always hot. It’s even a little thrilling when the Geek Squad people do it. I’ve done it before, and it’s fun to do to other people, too.

DANA
He cleaned up my desktop and moved things around and then I got nervous.

PAMIE
Well, it’s scary the first time.

DANA
I didn’t know what he’d find.

PAMIE
You’re very vulnerable, letting someone inside like that. Past your firewall.

DANA
You are making fun of me.

PAMIE
Only a little. But it is hot. Smart boys who fix things. And boys who make graphs. I’m just surprised you liked it so much. If I’d told you this, you’d make fun of me.

DANA
No, Pamie, I’m a nerd, too. Don’t you know that?

PAMIE
Uh-huh.

DANA
I love nerds. Haven’t you seen my friends? You’re all nerds.

PAMIE
Yeah, you’re right. Maybe you are supposed to be hanging out with your hot, pretty friends. Those other girls.

DANA
No, those hot, pretty girls are nerds, too.

PAMIE
DON’T SAY THAT. That’s not fair. You don’t get to be both.

DANA
I still say that you are a hot, pretty nerd, too.

PAMIE
Unh.

DANA
I want to do it again. Get him inside my computer. I cleaned up a little in case he does.

PAMIE
What, did you wax your hard drive?

DANA
Kinda.

PAMIE
I love how that boy got your inbox all hot.

DANA
I am sad that you haven’t updated your website in a long time.

PAMIE
Can I write about this?

DANA
Sigh. I suppose that’s what I get.
[/scripty]

i am about to blind you with some serious fucking science.

I’m not a Fergie fan. To the point where when someone mentioned that Fergie had an album coming out, I was skeptical that Americans would be interested in listening to an album by British Weight Watchers royalty.

The first time someone told me about Fergie’s new song, that is exactly what I said back. “How did this happen? Is it a novelty song?”

After a five-second pause, the friend gave me some seriously sad eyebrows and said, “From the Black Eyed Peas?” Read more

No Money, Mo Problems

You know those days when you turn over your change jar and shake out all the quarters and then sadly you realize you have a bank account balance that would only please a twelve-year old? It’s one of those days. I hate stressing about money, and that’s the main thing going on today.

I also don’t like talking about money, or talking about money problems because inevitably you send up sounding like an asshole. Someone’s always got worse money problems than you do. That’s like me complaining about my swimmer’s ear next to a guy with a seeing eye dog. It’s hard to keep everything in perspective, though, when you allow yourself to get so nervous about money.

Working freelance means you never really know when that next paycheck is coming, and it’s hard to budget. It’s almost impossible to just splurge on something because you end up regretting it later when that one check you were counting on isn’t coming for another month, or might not be coming ever again. Anyway, I allowed myself to wallow in my brokeness today, and I’m just the worst person to be around.

Read more

Before Midnight

The background music, the ongoing soundtrack of my late nights for the past five years has been provided by Playstation. Various video game orchestral swells have accompanied many a late-night writing period, or play loudly underneath my brain as I finish a book.

Right now World War II is going on behind my head. It sounds like gunfire and loud German shouts.

Read more

The House of Smut Revealed

corrupting the mormon dolls

Oh, man. I didn’t think it was possible, but I’m going to spend even more money today than I’ve ever spent not writing bills.

pamie.com is bigger than the hosting plan I just bought. What does that mean for you? Well, it means I’m moving the site again, and in maybe a week or so the IP will transfer and we’ll have that couple of days where you might not be on the new IP. This will only make a difference in the forum for maybe a day or two.

Read more

She's De-Nasty

i thought i was the normal one.

if you’re related to me or e, or even if you just know us, you might just want to skip this entry.

Okay, so I gathered my receipts, looked up the number, and called the garage that screwed me over. I talked to the manager on duty and he was outraged at my story. He told me that he wants me to get all of my money back, but he can’t authorize it. He gave me the address of the owners, and asked me to write them a letter telling them what I told him. That way he can ask if they will reimburse me. He then told me that he’ll stay at the garage all afternoon and wait for me, and if I come in this afternoon he’ll take a look at my car himself.

Outraged, the man was.

Read more

Shh.

i don’t know.

I was just sitting here typing when I heard Eric’s voice. It’s on the television. He’s doing these cable commercials now for their cable modem service. It’s a bit jolting. It sounds like he’s in the other room asking me to buy something. The commercial makes me giggle, because he’s so damn happy about Road Runner.

I try not to read into my dreams too much. It tends to make me nervous. But since last night was a bit of a repeat dream, I can’t help but wonder what it means.

Read more

swirly

my tummy and my head

Matt Sadler, of Natch fame, won last night’s Open Audition for Aspen. He’s going to Los Angeles next month to compete in another finalist round. How cool is that?

Read more

pamieamory

why i have to stick to just one man

I was interviewed for the local paper yesterday afternoon about Squishy.  So, this Saturday there should be an article about… me and why I write this journal.  And of course now that hours have gone by since the interview I’m thinking to myself, “Did I say the right things?”

One question he asked me was one I’ve never even addressed here:  Why is this site called “Squishy?”

If you’re curious…

Read more